teenagers

Ho, Ho, Ho, Where’s the Snow?

10 December 2011

This time last year we were dreading the arrival of the winter wonderland.

We were heading off to New Zealand and Australia for summer holidays and the threat of airports closed by snow weighed heavily on my mind. As it turned out we got out on one of the last long haul flights out of Heathrow before they closed the airport. We were lucky. This year though, we are wishing for a white Christmas, and so far it doesn’t look likely. Not where we live in the south of England.  Read more... (580 words, 1 image, estimated 2:19 mins reading time)

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It Takes A Village

1 September 2011

Strawberry Munchkin is my best friend in the UK.

It takes a village to raise a child, but Mum and Dad change the nappies

She’s a sensible British girl, a children’s nurse, smart and funny and organised. Not much phases her. But as she tossed her russet curls and looked for the right words over my left shoulder I could see she was perplexed.

Miss Eleven is best friends with Strawberry Munchkin’s oldest son. They are so close that when she goes over there to play he studiously ignores her and she bides her time with his adorable younger brother. They are that  (purposefully) nonchalent. Though apparently there’s been a hug, or two,  but no kissing – ‘eeeeew yuk no’ – as yet.  Read more... (489 words, 1 image, estimated 1:57 mins reading time)

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Letting go

26 July 2011

It had all been leading up to this moment.

camping

Time to let him see the world through his own eyes

The agonising in Iceland (where this Mum never goes) between Macaroni Cheese in a packet or burger buns. The anxious calculations about whether £29 was too much money to spend on food for one strapping 17 year old Son for four days camping. The machinations and deliberations about train tickets and camping stoves and whether he could borrow our set of camping frying pans. (I said ‘yes’, My Englishman said ‘no’). The amusing comedy performance that came with packing the pack.  Read more... (407 words, 1 image, estimated 1:38 mins reading time)

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Youth is Wasted on the Young

15 June 2011

“Do you want some?” he asked.
“No, I’m fine. I’m asthmatic.”

He shook his head in disgust and his rat’s tail slithered about his neck. He smelt rank.  Grabbing the nearest blonde British girl he disappeared into the squalid bedroom. He already had a blonde companion, I guess he needed a spare.

I am asthmatic but I was also scared. Instead, I drained the chardboard bladder into a glass (a recycled vegemite jar). I understood alcohol. I knew how far it would take me. Just far enough to feel spaced out, but not enough to really lose my mind.  Read more... (917 words, 1 image, estimated 3:40 mins reading time)

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If You Were Me For A Day

2 June 2011

If you wake up tomorrow and somehow by some Freaky Friday quirk of fate you are me, you will need to know the following -

Don't PANIC!

Try to remain calm. As I am a stress magnet, or walking disaster zone this may be a challenge. I lead an exciting life, crazy things happen out of the blue (like armed bank robberies, or hurricanes, or sudden loss of knicker elastic!) Add in three kids, two cats, 45kgs of Labrador cute, and a husband MIA (last seen heading west from Heathrow) and you’ve the recipe for disaster. Unlike most disasters however this time an oxygen mask will not appear in front of you. Blue LEDs will not lead you to the nearest exit. You just need to keep your sense of humour. And by the way, you don’t do mornings. Don’t expect anything civil to come out of your mouth until:  Read more... (1078 words, 2 images, estimated 4:19 mins reading time)

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Gone

2 September 2010

Where the hell did the time go?

I sat with you as you ably discussed your college course with your tutor today. You were polite, and quietly confident.  I couldn’t help remembering your first day at school. As I remembered that day all those years ago, you changed before me. Before my eyes your legs shrunk back to the those little podgy calves, the bristles on your chin replaced by a five year old’s freckles, your man’s hands back to the fingers that struggled to hold the wriggly pencil.  Read more... (759 words, 1 image, estimated 3:02 mins reading time)

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Curses and Boris

21 June 2010

I believe words have tremendous power.

curses and Boris

Cursing stone

Great good can come from encouraging soothing words, but by the same token I believe that words can curse you. In the internet age have we forgotten just how potent words are? They’re so easy to type off into the ether, do we ever stop to think how they might effect those who read them?

The Australian Aboriginals curse wrong-doers by pointing the bone and uttering a curse. This boning is so incredibly powerful that people  have been carried off by the words and the autosuggestion. Do we all have this power of truly ruining someone’s day!?  Read more... (725 words, 1 image, estimated 2:54 mins reading time)

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Step-Dad Day

20 June 2010

There wasn’t one card in the shops.

Not one. My three kids rifled through thousands of cards all screaming ‘Best Dad in the World’ and ‘My Daddy is the best’.

Bleurgh. Ick. Yuck.

In the end the kids chose cards that were either blank, and wrote the message themselves, or found ones that didn’t say ‘For my best Daddy-kins ever!’

You see they have a father. He is most certainly not the best daddy in the world. Some might argue he falls way short of providing for his children in any sense, financially, emotionally or otherwise.  Read more... (890 words, 2 images, estimated 3:34 mins reading time)

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Just A Quickie

19 June 2010

Just a quick post today!

I have an important question to ask of the long-suffering British public. Those millions of you that live in small boxes you call houses, but we in the rest of the world, refer to as kennels.

How do you make babies?

I mean. It’s not as if I’m uncertain of the process. A bee meets a bird and gives it a special cuddle and some time later out pops a baby bird-bee. I know all of that. But, how the hell do you get enough privacy to actually, do it?  Read more... (363 words, estimated 1:27 mins reading time)

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Friday Funny – Biting the Hand

18 June 2010

Thank God it’s Friday, YEAH!

Another long week with it’s share of ups and downs. So thrilled that this blog has had one of its best weeks EVA! Very exciting. Hopefully onwards and upwards. Friday Funny this week roasts a lovely Antipodean blogger Cate! Vegemitevix Friday Funny Biting the Hand

Cate hails from Adelaide (don’t rush for the atlas!) that’s in South Australia and is a lovely spot. You probably drink a few of their finest from time to time from the Barossa vineyard area. Cate has that amazing ability to write as she talks. In fact I’m pretty sure that we’d hit it off famously were we to meet. As she says in her post she often pauses before she speaks ‘because it makes you appear more intelligent’.  Read more... (777 words, 2 images, estimated 3:06 mins reading time)

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