swearing

Keep Swimming

3 September 2010

If only I could swear in another language.

Or maybe two, or three..you know if I really needed to let rip. To let it all out. To vent my spleen.

Constant craving.

Constant frustration.

It’s bad form to tell you what, in colourful lurid detail. So it would be helpful to explode in fluent French (for example). I don’t know anyone in France who would be offended.

Suffice to say ….

STUFF!

In BIG capital letters with exclamation marks, maybe even a  couple of asterisks, and a few intimated read-between-the-lines f words.  Read more... (562 words, 1 image, estimated 2:15 mins reading time)

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Who Do I Have to Fukka to Get Attention?

17 August 2010

I cannot hold it in any longer. I MUST say something. Who do I have to fark to get attention as a blogger? Or more importantly why should I have to say ‘fark’ and ‘cocke’ and all those other nawty words?

Does it make it funnier?

Cos I’m not sure I can.

Those who know me in real life can stop rolling on the floor in laughter now. I am not known -ahem- for my polite speech. In fact au contraire. I think most people are aware that I call a bloody spade a bloody spade, if not a forking spade.  Read more... (715 words, estimated 2:52 mins reading time)

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Out of the mouths of babes

1 July 2010

Face contorted in rage, she spat the words out. vegemitevix discovers teenage tantrums

I almost felt their ire in a wet glob all over my face.

‘I f-ing hate you!’

My eyes widen. I think my mouth fell open. She was waiting for a response. Daring a response…

What did she just say? Did she use the ‘f’ word? Oh my God did she get that from me? Arrrrrgh! Does she really hate me? Hate is such a big word? She’s copying her teenage sister. Did she really hear that from me? Must STOP dropping swearing bombshells when something piques me. Or drop them silently. Did she really say the ‘f’ word? Really?  Read more... (608 words, 1 image, estimated 2:26 mins reading time)

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