vix

What if I wasn’t just a moody b*tch?

by vix 27 April 2012

What if I wasn’t just a moody bitch, what if there was actually something wrong?

Opening your mind won't make your brain fall out!

And what if I told you that my problem was incurable, though hopefully not terminal, would that help you to understand? And together, with my loved ones, we could celebrate that understanding with black humour. We could laugh at the stupid things that upset me; like the way the sun doesn’t do as its told, and that life keeps throwing those curve balls at us. We could self-medicate with humour, it would beat wine, or drugs, or food, or sex. Read more... (812 words, 1 image, estimated 3:15 mins reading time)

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Mad cows, Noah’s ark and fighting dirty

by vix 26 April 2012

I may have once bitten someone mid-fight, – it was only my sister, and I was five, – but I’m all grown up now and I’ve learnt how to fight clean.

Would you like fries with that?

I know how to not hit below the belt (or leave teeth marks) and I know when I should just make for the ropes. I’ve learnt how to not be a mad cow.

Yeah. Right.

As if. Read more... (950 words, 1 image, estimated 3:48 mins reading time)

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Bug off Mozzie

by vix 25 April 2012

I’ve seen first hand what malaria can do.

Smash the mozzies on Word Malaria Day 2012

I’ve had friends and relatives with the dreadful disease. I’ve watched with horror as one friend – a perfectly fit, European man – succumbed to reoccuring bouts of malarial fever. He said he could actually feel the parasites multiplying, draining his blood of oxygen carrying platelets, sapping his energy and strength. My Australian Great Uncle also had malaria, contracted during his time in military service as an ANZAC. He suffered throughout his life, dragging his afflicted body through reoccurence after reoccurence. It seems fitting to remember him today, World Malaria Day, and also ANZAC day. Read more... (520 words, 1 image, estimated 2:05 mins reading time)

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Money for nothing and your links for free

by vix 25 April 2012

A blogging acquaintance said in a forum the other day ‘Why can’t we just roll back the clocks back before Google+ and SEO optimisation, and the whole nofollow/dofollow debate.’

Money for nothing and your links for free?

Here, here. How to blog, honestly, effectively and still earn a little, in this brave new world?

Why can’t we go back to the days when the hardest thing about blogging was getting people to comment?

Instead, these days we can spend hours reading through offers of free content or crap ‘advertising offers’, or worse negotiating with advertisers whose main objective is to get their advertisers money for nothing and your links for free! Read more... (1265 words, 1 image, estimated 5:04 mins reading time)

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Why our kids can’t fail

by vix 24 April 2012

Miss Fliss’ blue eyes filled with tears as she venomously spit out -

Why can't our kids fail?

“Why are you always criticising me?”

“But I haven’t. I’ve just told you that you’ve spelt God wrong – it should have a big ‘G’ – and that there should be more explanation of the Christian faith in your project.”

“You’re so unfair. You always pick at me.”

As she stomped off to poke pins into the voodoo doll of her mother that she keeps under her bed, I wondered – why can’t our kids fail? Read more... (719 words, 1 image, estimated 2:53 mins reading time)

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For God’s sake don’t open that door

by vix 23 April 2012

I have sore wrists this morning. No it’s not RSI borne of conjugal prowess, it’s because I’ve been cleaning.

LOOK at me the biggest rubber duckie in the world (and then maybe you won't see the muck?)

I know!!

Me, the Matriarch of Muck, has morphed into the Queen of Clean! My Englishman was so astonished he couldn’t contain himself.

“What on earth are you going to do with those?” he asked as I fronted wearing a pair of Marigolds and brandishing a toothbrush and a fluffy cloth. His arched eyebrow suggested perhaps I had something a little hot and saucy in mind. Read more... (829 words, 2 images, estimated 3:19 mins reading time)

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April Showers and pregnant weather girls

by vix 20 April 2012

Dear England,

April showers with bucketloads of what??

What do you call this then? Spring?

I don’t think so. I really don’t think so. I think Hell has frozen over. And little bits of it are raining down in hailstorms. Yet every time the pregnant weather girl comes on tele, she cocks her head with that apologetic smile and says ‘expect some more April Showers’.

Do I look like I need a shower? April or otherwise? Read more... (299 words, 1 image, estimated 1:12 mins reading time)

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Somebody I used to know

by vix 19 April 2012

It wasn’t pouring with rain, the sky was a flooded bathroom floor and I was directly under the drain pipe.

Are you someone I used to know?

At least I had been until I’d grabbed a spot under one of the store’s eaves, and jostled for space between the drips that trickled down through holes in the cloth awning, with other refugees from the weather. In the crowd of Thai faces there were only two white ones, mine and another backpacker’s. I assumed she was from Europe until she turned to me and said in perfect Kiwi twang - Read more... (808 words, 1 image, estimated 3:14 mins reading time)

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I’m like a supermodel

by vix 18 April 2012

We have a lot in common, Elle MacPherson and I.

We are both working Mums and both love the sea. We have sooooo much in common!

A lot!

It’s the little things.. like…knickers… I like wearing hers, she likes me paying to wear hers. And believe me they’re expensive over here. (Oh how I miss the Bendon outlet shop in East Tamaki. Miss you ladies. Mwah!)

Then of course there’s the obvious stuff, we’re both attractive women – my beauty is internal, hers is more of an external in-your-face-kind-of-thing – but it’s a subtle difference. Like grey is to black! Read more... (595 words, 1 image, estimated 2:23 mins reading time)

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Why travel – the inspiration behind the plane tickets

by vix 16 April 2012

A tall dark stranger stood in front of me, and like the snake in the garden of Eden, he offered me an apple.

Vegemitevix Kiwi travel blogger and expat

Travel is all about inspiration, seeing the potential behind every cloud

And like Eve, I didn’t hesitate to take a bite. I was curious about this strange fruit. Could I not remember having them in New Zealand? I’m not sure, but I do remember the strong curiousity that piqued my interest. Not just in the apple, but in everything. I wanted knowledge. I wanted to experience a little of this strange Peter Pan’s world. Read more... (1257 words, 1 image, estimated 5:02 mins reading time)

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