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Poor Kate

So it’s time.Kate-Middleton

We’ll never know if the DoC succumbed to the dangerous delights of a curry or a bit of the other to hasten the birth along, but now it’s time. And I for one, am really sorry for her.

Like first time Mums around the world she is no doubt bricking it. The Royal House’s sway and influence and obgyn nous will not matter one jot when it comes down to the very ‘one born every minute’ business end of it.

Every woman has her moment in labour. Irrespective of class, or husband’s bank account or royal title. And right now, I’m feeling for you, Duchess.

The horror that is feeling the pressure to birth according to another’s schedule (in my case my then husband’s company desire to send us overseas,  in the DoC’s case the whole world’s media schedule), the anxiety that is hoping for some sense of control in a birth plan that you’ve carefully considered and put down IN STONE..only to find it thrown out the window the moment the baby moves its annoyingly ‘posterior’ head.

Not to mention that failure to perform on cue..To be ‘late’..to cause ‘bother’ because the baby’s quite happy in situ.

And in the Duchess’s case there’s no coffee group members to sympathise and hold her hand. Sure there’s Prince William, but unless I’m mistaken he doesn’t have a uterus and can’t quite empathise, try as he might.

And I’m certain like loving men everywhere he is trying. Of that I have no doubt.

But birth is undoubtedly the utmost ‘woman’s business’.

I’ve heard of a tribe somewhere that ties a rope to the man’s genitals and every time she feels a ripping labour pain she pulls that rope. I like that idea. I think that gives some measure of the pain and fear involved, and helps him feel it too.

And that’s not even touching on the modern ‘politics’ of birth, that say that a natural birth is superior to a caesarian, that an episiotomy is failure in a cut, and that pain relief is an ether smoke signal for ‘weakling’.

Where did all of this come from?

Who said that natural birth was preferable to a c-section? If I’d had a natural birth I’d be dead now, yes even in these modern days. And as for the common misconception ‘too posh to push’… Who said this? Who said it was easier to have major abdominal surgery than to push your baby out through a birth canal designed exactly for that purpose?

Who said it was easier to not be able to sit up and feed your baby because of the overwhelming pain of a hip to hip cut? Who said it was any less brave? More posh? More acceptable?

I’m anxious for you Ma’am. I wish you strength and courage and determination that will see you through a birthing process that is in itself a challenge, a trial, and yet something of a blessing. I’m raising a glass of good wine to you DoC. Lord, Ma’am you’re going to enjoy it when this trial of labour is done. Make it a good NZ Sauvignon Blanc.

And ask Prince William if he can rustle you up a decent coffee group of other young mums, they will be so much more valuable than any baby nurse.

What do you think? Is childbirth the great class leveller?

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