I couldn’t let the chance for a #FridayFunny to pass, when there’s been so much brilliant material recently. So much to choose from. But in the end I chose these two stories about men and their bums.
Before you continue reading, I must warn you that the squeamish amongst you will find this rather ick. But it is funny!
First up is this story from the US. Apparently drinking games have got a little racier than they were in my day.
We used to be quite happy with the Fluffy Fluffy Duck genre of drinking games, where the opportunity for amusement came from mistakenly saying Fluffy Fluffy F..k whereupon you’d take a swig of beer. It was typically beer because we were students after all and couldn’t afford anything else.
But a new breed of sophisticated student has emerged in the US. Drinking games are still the focal point of the Frat houses’ New Year shenanagins (love that word!) but this time they’re not using beer, and they’re not drinking it.
They’re butt chugging it.
A 20 year old student from the University of Tennesee was rushed to hospital a week or so ago, unconscious and near death after pouring alcohol up his butt. Not surprisingly, the alcoholic enema worked a little too well and did indeed get the young lad ‘drunk quickly’.
Problem was, as he was applying the alcohol into his body by an alternative means to the typical – pouring it down his gullet – his body couldn’t protest with self-preservation mechanisms like throwing up. He ended up in an alcoholic coma quicker than you can say numbskull after drinking your way through a pallet of beer.
And there’s another funny thing about this case. This sophisticated man about town wasn’t pouring beer into his butt, oh no he’s a whole different class of drinker – he was pouring wine. There’s been no reportage of the vintage, whether there was a zesty zing or buttery warmth or how the tipple felt on the palate. Was it a little fruity? Or was it too hard to tell with the vintage’s delicate taste overwhelmed by the after-burn of the previous day’s curry?
Then there’s the little tale of a man of unknown age who was rushed to Auckland Hospital at the beginning of September with another embarrassing problem.
He had an eel lodged up his bum.
No one knows how the eel got up there, whether it swam up there of its own accord or was positioned in situ.
I think the answer to that question probably lies in the following description of typical eel behaviour as reported in The New Zealand Herald- ‘ Eels are secretive, nocturnal and prefer habitats with plenty of cover. They hunt by smell rather than sight.’
I’m guessing the eel was not hunting. Or perhaps his sense of smell was somehow impaired.
As impaired as the un-named man’s common sense?
No one’s sure what happened as yet, but you can be certain there will be a thorough investigation that will not cease until they get to the bottom of it.