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Class A Placenta

I realised through the fog of exhaustion and the eight hours of epidural that I had created something very special when my normally conservative Obstetrician raised her eyebrow and whistled.

capsules

What’s next? Eye of newt? Tail of dog? Photo: Ringai via Flickr CC

“1 kg. Wow!”

She wasn’t talking about my baby – oh no he was over 4.2 kg. (I still wince when I remember that. Remember I’m only 5 foot 2 or so). She was talking about the baby pantry that I had signed away to medical research.

“It’s so big and healthy, it would be a shame to throw it away. And you don’t want it do you?”

She threw me a quizzical look. I didn’t appear to be the Placenta Lasagne  kind of  woman, but she just needed to check.

She was right. I only know how to make pate with chicken livers and a little brandy, and I can’t plant a rose bush let alone a placenta. She was safe. My baby’s pantry was off to the lab for further discussion and no doubt, dissection.

I didn’t have any plans for placenta parties, or placenta purees, or even placenta burials. As far as I was concerned the placenta had done its job. Quite well in fact. My placenta had excelled and I had a very bonnie baby boy. But that was over nineteen years ago and times have really changed. These days sending my placenta to the lab for medical research would have been considered a waste.

These days my placenta would have been turned into a Class A capsule of goodness.

Not content with turning placentas into party food, or potions that promote skin elasticity and collagen production, the placenta purveyors have come up with an innovative, albeit alternative, use for the baby pantry. After all, in times as economically tough as these we all must adopt a waste not, want not mentality.

In Christchurch, New Zealand, a young Mum has hit upon a unique means of preserving the magical powers of the placenta so that the previously pregnant can continue to benefit from its life enhancing qualities, long after its prime. Women send her their placentas which she dutifully dries and grinds into a powder and pops into a pill for the Mum to consume. Apparently, placenta pills is the good stuff –  it staves off depression, raises energy levels and increases milk supply.

For my money, so does Prozac, coffee and sleep.

Demand for the Class A Placenta pills has really taken off lately and women all over New Zealand are sending their placentas to be dried and pulverised into pills. Which raises an interesting question.

How do you pack a placenta for the postie?

Links: TVNZ Placenta Pills

 

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