For some reason I was wandering through first class, champagne glass in hand, just as the pilot decided to break bonds with the earth. I fell back into a first class seat, an empty one not onto someone’s lap, and a flight attendant came to tell me to buckle up.
As if I belonged. There. In first class!
I tried to protest that I was in the wrong section of the plane, but she wouldn’t hear it, so in the end I settled back into the seat, made myself as comfortable as I possibly could…in the circumstances…
Considering that I was naked.
I’m not sure whether this was a good thing, or a bad thing. Did it worry me that I was starkers in the first class (wrong section) of the plane? I’m not sure it did worry me too much. Other people didn’t seem to notice, they certainly weren’t pointing and laughing. That’s how I could tell it was a dream, and not real life.
I think it worried me more that the plane was taking off and I wasn’t buckled in as per the accepted health and safety regulations. I was perturbed that I wasn’t prepared. Though I don’t dress up to travel these days, I do typically wear clothes. It’s only manners, after all.
I woke this morning feeling all flumoxed and started searching the internet for dream interpretations. Nakedness is a very common dream, I read, but the experts have vastly differing opinions on what it means. Some said my nakedness could mean -
- I was feeling exposed (that’s hardly rocket science)
- Guilt and inferiority (why? I wasn’t embarrassed. It felt natural!)
- Desire to feel the innocence of childhood.
And then there were the Freudian dream interpretations which suggested I felt – repressed sexually, unfulfilled sexually, unprepared for sexual release (as represented by flying)!
Ahem. Don’t think those are quite on the money.
It seems as if dream interpretation is as individual as our dreams, and lists of dream interpretations can be as hit and miss as horoscopes.
Never fear! To help you, in your hour of need, I have wiffled through webpages full of new age waffle, and collated the following handy interpretations of common dreams. I’ll bet you a pack of tarot cards these are closer to the money than anything else you’ll read online.
Din’t thank me. It’s all part of the Vegemitevix service!
1/Naked in first class on an airplane swigging champagne as the plane takes off
Obviously, you are a classy to the bare bone. Of course how classy will depend on what champagne you were swilling. Veuve or Bollinger?
2/Not buckled in your seat
You have recently suffered considerable Fifty Shades of insult to your intelligence, and your subconscious is working through the indignity. Also, you are something of a rebel and you’d make a very bad submissive.
3/Teeth falling out or dreadful taste in mouth
Unbeknowns to you your toddler scrubbed the loo with your toothbrush last night. Did your dream include spitting out the toothpaste, or swallowing?
4/Blood curdling screams and the sounds of a battle raging all around you. You wake sweating with dry mouth and in grave panic.
It’s school holidays, and you’re not dreaming.
5/You dream aliens have come into your bedroom, but are not using their anal probe this time, preferring instead to draw blood from you using a gigantic hyperdermic needle.
Wakey wakey, cat wants breakfast.
Now, it’s your turn. Vegemitevix, dream interpreter extraordinaire is here to listen to your sonambulistic ponderings and to give you her considered interpretation.
What did you dream last night?
Image: flickr cc