So says the song, and it sounds amazing. True, passionate, die for you, love.
But would ya, really?
Would you wax your girlfriend's bits, for love?
How about back pimples? Would you squeeze your beloved’s back pimples? Or pluck bum hairs? Personally that’s a poke too far for me, but for some people (mainly apes and others of the hairy species) it’s a sign of endearment.
What about waxing your girlfriend’s lady’s bits. Would you do that?
I knew one couple who took great pride in telling me that’s what they did for fun. He took great pleasure in that, he told me. Nothing says ‘I love you’ quite like ripping the pubic hairs from your woman’s genitals and making her wince with pain.
I confess it doesn’t ring my bells, but then nowt queer as folks, as they say over here.
I asked my nearest and dearest.
“Nothing. I would do everything for you,” he said.
“Excellent. Shall we start with the dishes?”
Love is such a fickle thing, it’s amazing how quickly the enthusiasm wanes.
I would do anything for love. In fact I have moved across the world, climbed a mountain (or two), got married again (when I said I would never) but I won’t….
1) Wax back hair. Or sack or crack hair. Ditto for nasal hair, ear hair and those wiry grey tigers that spring from the chest when he reaches manopause.
2) Cook an animals’ internal organs for his dinner. That means no black pudding (blood isn’t an organ but it’s pretty essential to the whole organ functioning thing), brains, kidney, haggis, or tripe. I’m still recovering from the nightmare of suctioning out tripe from the collapsed larynx of an elderly patient over 20 years ago.
3) Have cosmetic surgery for him. I may have it for me, (in fact I have done) but I would never have it for anyone else.
4) Bungi jump or sky dive. If God had intended we bungi jump he would have ensured they couldn’t cut the umbilical chord.
5) Be anyone but myself.
There’s my limits. What are yours?
Image: Flickr CC
By Janine – http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinkcotton/
