“But why would you want the world to know what’s happening in your life?” Mum asked.
Relationship status: It's Complicated
I muttered. And changed the subject. My elderly mother just doesn’t get Facebook, but then I could hardly explain when push came to shove. I simply muttered and changed the subject.
Am I in love with Facebook?
Relationship Status has changed: It's Complicated.
But the conversation, made me think about how much time I spend on Facebook and whether it is really a good thing. There’s been lots of stories written about why Facebook is a bit of a tart. And the film about its strange conception as an awkward birth child of a socially inept founder, (The Social Network) did little to help me feel secure about putting all ma stuff on Facebook.
Facebook doesn’t respect your privacy. Facebook is vacuous. Facebook just wants to commercialise our lives. Facebook is the work of Satan.
Ok I made that last one up, because as we know even God’s main man the Pope is on Facebook.
Poor old Facebook has quite the reputation as the fallen woman about town. And yet, I think Facebook is like a diamond in the rough. The potential is there, it all depends how you polish it and how you use it. Facebook can be an excellent tool for connecting with family and friends, particularly those who are a long way away. It’s been my lifeline in my expat life.
Here’s my Top Five Tips on How to Play Nice with Facebook
1/Circles – It’s all about the circles and the company you keep. You don’t have to share your every thought and breakfast diet with the whole world (there’s Twitter for that!) you can lock down your Facebook page so that only those you love and actually know can see your profile. Go to the Toolbar at the top of your Fb page and click on the Settings, and a dropdown box will appear. Now click on Privacy settings, take a deep breath and go and make a cup of tea. Turn off all phones and distractions and now go read this page carefully! This page changes (frequently!) and tells you all about how much information you are sharing with your friends, and in turn how much information they are sharing with their friends. You might be surprised by what you find out. And no, the new Timeline feature will not reveal all your details since you first started on Facebook if you have those details locked down. In fact the new Timeline feature means you can go all the way back and retrospectively change your privacy settings.
2/Sharing is Caring – Now you’ve got your privacy settings sorted you can start sharing. But only if you are not drinking, high on crack or vengeful. Just remember -
Mates don’t let mates drive Facebook drunk!
Facebook is a good place to share stuff and let friends know about what’s happening in your life, and share applications, and games and things you might enjoy together. Warning though – The Facebook status question – What’s on Your Mind – isn’t a deep question. It doesn’t really want a full description of your existential angst, or last night’s activities in bed or the size of your estranged boyfriend’s manhood. This is TMI and best left for Facebook Chat and other private spaces.
3/Respect Your Differences – Some people just love the quirky old apps that Facebook keeps on coming up with. As for me I don’t really give a toss about bejewelling the world (unless it’s my own fingers!) or what my porn star name would be should I wish for a change in career. (Apparently it’s Tongue-ya Harding!) And if I wanted to raise chickens and tend crops I would actually do so with ones that cluck and grow, rather than do it virtually on Farmville. Don’t insist all your friends and family join your little fantasy trips, some of us have real life, and real work to do!
4/ Spit It Out – Sometimes Facebook can be a bloody handy little tool, and no more so than when you have some difficult news to tell. In my four years on Facebook I’ve seen more and more people use the Status line to break the bad news – of breakups, divorce, and even death. Whilst it may seem at first glance a heartless thing to do, I actually think it’s a small mercy at a difficult time. Of course it’s a given, that you’ve actually told the other person first (and not in a text message, email or on Facebook chat!)
One of the hardest things I had to face was telling friends and family of my marriage breakup, and I’m sure that being able to quietly put a note about would have been far easier. After all isn’t it just modern version of the jungle drums of a death or birth notice in the newspaper?
5/Close the Distance – Facebook provides the most wonderful way of sharing your life with those who aren’t with you. Share those pictures of the kids – ‘My haven’t they grown up!’ – and of the pets and of your life now. Share a joke that you know will make your friends smile, and lighten their load. And as you share you will be building deeper connections between you and your friends and family. That is what Facebook is all about. It’s like a magazine featuring you, your life and your world.
For that reason whenever I hear someone say they are going to go overseas or embark on an expat adventure I suggest they get into Facebook (as well as other internet media such as Skype) because I firmly believe that it can help lessen that tyranny of distance.
What do you think?
A Like for Facebook? Or an Unlike?
Image: Flickr CC
http://www.flickr.com/photos/codemastersnake/
"But why would you want the world to know what's happening in your life?" Mum asked.
[caption id="attachment_4608" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Relationship status: It's Complicated"][/caption]
I muttered. And changed the subject. My elderly mother just doesn't get Facebook, but then I could hardly explain when push came to shove. I simply muttered and changed the subject.
Am I in love with Facebook?
Relationship Status has changed: It's Complicated.
But the conversation, made me think about how much time I spend on Facebook and whether it is really a good thing. There's been lots of stories written about why Facebook is a bit of a tart. And the film about its strange conception as an awkward birth child of a socially inept founder, (The Social Network) did little to help me feel secure about putting all ma stuff on Facebook.
Facebook doesn't respect your privacy. Facebook is vacuous. Facebook just wants to commercialise our lives. Facebook is the work of Satan.
Ok I made that last one up, because as we know even God's main man the Pope is on Facebook.
Poor old Facebook has quite the reputation as the fallen woman about town. And yet, I think Facebook is like a diamond in the rough. The potential is there, it all depends how you polish it and how you use it. Facebook can be an excellent tool for connecting with family and friends, particularly those who are a long way away. It's been my lifeline in my expat life.
Here's my Top Five Tips on How to Play Nice with Facebook
1/Circles - It's all about the circles and the company you keep. You don't have to share your every thought and breakfast diet with the whole world (there's Twitter for that!) you can lock down your Facebook page so that only those you love and actually know can see your profile. Go to the Toolbar at the top of your Fb page and click on the Settings, and a dropdown box will appear. Now click on Privacy settings, take a deep breath and go and make a cup of tea. Turn off all phones and distractions and now go read this page carefully! This page changes (frequently!) and tells you all about how much information you are sharing with your friends, and in turn how much information they are sharing with their friends. You might be surprised by what you find out. And no, the new Timeline feature will not reveal all your details since you first started on Facebook if you have those details locked down. In fact the new Timeline feature means you can go all the way back and retrospectively change your privacy settings.
2/Sharing is Caring - Now you've got your privacy settings sorted you can start sharing. But only if you are not drinking, high on crack or vengeful. Just remember -
Mates don't let mates drive Facebook drunk!
Facebook is a good place to share stuff and let friends know about what's happening in your life, and share applications, and games and things you might enjoy together. Warning though - The Facebook status question - What's on Your Mind - isn't a deep question. It doesn't really want a full description of your existential angst, or last night's activities in bed or the size of your estranged boyfriend's manhood. This is TMI and best left for Facebook Chat and other private spaces.
3/Respect Your Differences - Some people just love the quirky old apps that Facebook keeps on coming up with. As for me I don't really give a toss about bejewelling the world (unless it's my own fingers!) or what my porn star name would be should I wish for a change in career. (Apparently it's Tongue-ya Harding!) And if I wanted to raise chickens and tend crops I would actually do so with ones that cluck and grow, rather than do it virtually on Farmville. Don't insist all your friends and family join your little fantasy trips, some of us have real life, and real work to do!
4/ Spit It Out - Sometimes Facebook can be a bloody handy little tool, and no more so than when you have some difficult news to tell. In my four years on Facebook I've seen more and more people use the Status line to break the bad news - of breakups, divorce, and even death. Whilst it may seem at first glance a heartless thing to do, I actually think it's a small mercy at a difficult time. Of course it's a given, that you've actually told the other person first (and not in a text message, email or on Facebook chat!)
One of the hardest things I had to face was telling friends and family of my marriage breakup, and I'm sure that being able to quietly put a note about would have been far easier. After all isn't it just modern version of the jungle drums of a death or birth notice in the newspaper?
5/Close the Distance - Facebook provides the most wonderful way of sharing your life with those who aren't with you. Share those pictures of the kids - 'My haven't they grown up!' - and of the pets and of your life now. Share a joke that you know will make your friends smile, and lighten their load. And as you share you will be building deeper connections between you and your friends and family. That is what Facebook is all about. It's like a magazine featuring you, your life and your world.
For that reason whenever I hear someone say they are going to go overseas or embark on an expat adventure I suggest they get into Facebook (as well as other internet media such as Skype) because I firmly believe that it can help lessen that tyranny of distance.
What do you think?
A Like for Facebook? Or an Unlike?
Image: Flickr CC
http://www.flickr.com/photos/codemastersnake/
Tagged as:
Expat Kiwi,
expat life,
How best to use Facebook,
Travel blogging
