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Wild Food

The sign on the side of  the dusty highway through the Nullarbor Desert should have been a dead giveaway. It read: Cheece Scones  with Fresh Crem.

Was there a cow in the back of the tin roofed cafe? Not likely. Considering the petrol tanker only came once a week I was doubtful it would really deliver cream more often. Cream would hardly be more important to this outcrop of dirty buildings off the highway. The coach pulled off the road, wheezed open its door, and steaming hot air flooded in. Tired and lethargic after 12 hours of travelling we stumbled down the stairs and into the cafe.

This wasn’t really a cafe. It was an urn with a sandwich rack and an eager Chinese lady offering Cheece Scones, or Burgers! I went for the burger and it duly arrived in a flat white bun, a sliver of cheese and a suspiciously round looking piece of white meat. What kind of meat? It certainly wasn’t pork, or minced beef. Did they have perfectly round chickens (with the cow) in a lands-end menagerie sustained by Cheece Scones and tethered in a back room in the aircon?

I wandered out to the most isolated red telephone box in the world to ring a friend in Sydney when something slithered past behind the telephone booth into the relative cool. I looked down at my burger, and then in a light-bulb moment I realised the origin of my burger’s meat. The snake was quick, and I didn’t get a good look but I suspected that if you were to cut him open with a carving knife he would produce round-ish slabs of white meat.

I donated the rest of the burger to the starved, thirsty creatures of the Nullabor, and climbed back into the aircon of my coach capsule of civilisation.

I think that is the strangest thing I’ve ever eaten, and I can’t even tell you what it tasted like as it’s over 20 years ago now. I was reminded of weird things I’ve eaten by news from New Zealand’s Hokitika Wild Food Festival.  Each year on New Zealand’s wild West Coast of the South Island they hold a wonderful WildFood festival. Recent nibbles have included tasty titties, sheep’s testicles, fried scorpions, and muttonbird. Apparently this year the sheep’s testicles are out! So last year! No this year they’re downing horse semen shots.

You heard correctly. Horse. Semen. Shots.

I think you’d have to be quite daring, quite spunky to give that a go! They’re an adventurous breed Down Under aren’t they!

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?

Image: Flickr CC

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