September 2010

Turn, turn, turn

by vix 16 September 2010

For every season turn, turn, turn.

Red sky at night, shepherds delight

Outside my window a shroud of sepia yellow has fallen over the leaves of the old oak tree. There’s a nip in the air. I saw a squirrel running through our yard hiding acorns in the grass, and I laughed. He’ll never find them again come winter, and the snow fall.

At least he was optimistic. And that my friends is what I believe survival is all about.

Flexibility and optimism. Read more... (492 words, 1 image, estimated 1:58 mins reading time)

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MAD? Absolutely!

by vix 15 September 2010

Well, I’ve had a sleep and managed to feel 90% recovered from The MADs –

the blogging awards that happened on Monday night at Butlins in Bognor Regis.

The one thing that shines about the memory of the event is this: how much fun everyone had. How a group of people from very different backgrounds, of different ages and no doubt different political and religious views, all managed to get along.

We had Eastenders’ fans mixing with those who would prefer to pluck own thine eyes instead of watching Eastenders. Read more... (372 words, 1 image, estimated 1:29 mins reading time)

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Braving Butlins at Bognor Regis

by vix 15 September 2010

Some years ago when I lived in NZ, I invited an English friend who hailed (originally) from Stoke on Trent, to come away on holiday to the beach with us. So we packed up the car and headed over to Hahei on the Coromandel, one of my favourite spots and where my Dad used to have a beach house.

This is Hahei.

I know. I know. It’s awful isn’t it! Not too far from this:

Which is likewise pretty yuk. Read more... (658 words, 4 images, estimated 2:38 mins reading time)

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Tribal Wives Go Viral Part Two

by vix 13 September 2010

I’m gathering all the Tribal Wives’ posts that have grown like bacteria under the rind of a mouldy bit of cheese, and putting them here as a kind of anthropological reference. But there’s just too many for one blog post. So for your amusement…here are a few more Tribal Wives versions. Read about the househusbands of East London, the matching sweater Mums of Baltimore, the crafty tribal wives of Wellington, New Zealand and the Yummy Mummy JAFA tribe of Auckland..Oh and if you want to have a go then drop us an email and I’ll put together a Part Three! Read more... (1202 words, 1 image, estimated 4:48 mins reading time)

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Tribal Wives Go Viral

by vix 13 September 2010

What on earth have I done?

Once upon a blog post, I wrote about how to live in Britain, if you are suddenly transplanted here.

As I have been. From sunshine to sleet, from vegemite to British marmite, from beautiful beaches to…Blighty! It was all based on the BBC show Tribal Wives where they take women from their comfortable suburban homes in Slough or Dudley or wherever and dump send them to weird and wonderful places and ask them to fit in cooking rats’ innards and sewing clothes out of zebra hides. In the end the women all bond over their ‘shared humanity’ and everyone goes home and downs a pint of Coke. Read more... (1700 words, 1 image, estimated 6:48 mins reading time)

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Nothing is wrong

by vix 11 September 2010

It completely winds me up.

Sometimes I like being quiet. I like being on my own, and enjoy my own company. I process all those thoughts and feelings I can’t get to. Some days I just feel spent. Often I’m then sympathy bait.

I’m sitting around minding my own business, being quiet and inevitably someone will sit down beside me. They’ll pause. To muster the right words. Then they’ll summon an appropriately sympathetic face and ask in that quiet honeyed voice:

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Really?’

He or She, but it’s usually a she, will fix me with the-sympathetic-look-straight-from-the-emergency-room. Read more... (493 words, estimated 1:58 mins reading time)

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What a cow!

by vix 10 September 2010

I think there’s city people and then there’s country people, and never the twain shall meet.

You may change location but you’ll never really change your allegiance.

A while ago a friend was recounting a conversation she’d recently had with her trendy sister-in-law. We’ll protect the innocent here and call my friend Sam, and her sister-in-law, Isabella.

Isabella was describing the final touches they were making to their new abode in the pristine countryside just outside of Auckland city. It was truly a beautiful home, large and stylish and stained in noir, to match Isabella’s heart. They’d built a swimming pool and landscaped the ‘front paddock’ with beds of cacti and other structually interesting plants in keeping with the Eastern mystical aesthetic. Read more... (519 words, 1 image, estimated 2:05 mins reading time)

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How men can pull from the dance floor

by vix 9 September 2010

Hey guys, what are women looking at when you’re on the dance floor?

Some of the answers I got on Twitter to this question included:

‘looking away in deep shame’

‘averting their eyes to the crimes against dancing being committed on the dance floor’

‘men don’t dance. A slight bobbing of the head is all that’s required..’

‘the inside of their closed eyelids whilst thinking OMG or WTF?’

‘always the hips’

Some cocky souls even suggested that women were mesmorised by their proud male parts!

Guess what. You’re all wrong! Read more... (612 words, 2 images, estimated 2:27 mins reading time)

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Madame Naturalist

by vix 8 September 2010

Like most women I have a love/hate relationship with my body.

Sometimes I bitterly complain that it’s just not performing like Kylie’s (she’s the same age!) or Elle’s.

But generally, I get on with maintenance and repair. The odd spot of housework and gardening. A bit of weeding here and there, (Brazilian, Moustache twirling..) a little bit of renovation (facial, hair colour), and even on occasion I undergo the physical equivalent of a rebuild (surgical repair).

Yet, despite all the ‘work’ around the ‘house’ I still enjoy being myself.

You know. Completely myself. Read more... (614 words, 1 image, estimated 2:27 mins reading time)

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The University of Life

by vix 7 September 2010

Dear Sir,

The University of Life, is crap!

25 years ago I walked out of the school gates into The University of Life, and since then I have endured deception, frustration, confusion… Nothing I learnt at school could prepare me for the ‘real world’.

Why don’t I get points for trying anymore? Why isn’t ‘putting my heart and soul into it’ enough? Why won’t the Dragon’s share their money with me like Annie used to share her pencils? Read more... (922 words, 1 image, estimated 3:41 mins reading time)

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