Mrs Waitrose Goes to Lidl

‘Keep you head down and whatever you do, DON’T LOOK AT ANYONE!’

Strawberry Munchkin was organised. She’d done this before. She had the bags, from Sainsbury’s, Waitrose, Ocado, all cleverly disguised tied up in the Lidl’s bag.

‘So we’re just going to be cool!’ I confirmed pushing the dark sunglasses down, and fixing a nonchalent smile.

I didn’t know what to expect. Would there be three eyed Blinky for sale in the fish freezer? Would there be social deviants cluttering up the aisles with their canvas trolleys on wheels. Would there be…..

……..convict wine?

I hate shopping at discount supermarkets. I like my food to be fresh and purchased from sustainable supply. I like to breeze down aesthetically pleasing supermarket aisles with their tidy little displays of red juicy meat and pick and choose from an array of exotic fruit from far-flung exotic climes.

I like to frequent supermarkets where I can purchase a tray of not-previously-frozen-fresh-sushi!

But I also like to  not obliterate my budget. I have champagne tastes, and a Lidl’s super low discounted lemonade budget.

I’ve been to all of the supermarket offerings in the UK. I’ve tried the top end Waitrose, Sainsbury’s, Ocado, Marks & Spencers. The midrange – Tescos, Morrisons, Asda, Co-op. And now it was time to try the bottom end.

I’ve never been much of a fan of the rear-end, but needs must.

I drew in a deep breath.

‘We’re going in. Come on Thelma!’

Strawberry Munchin is a practical English girl. Sensible, but fun with a little ‘naughty but nice’  thread running through her weave. She’s previously shopped at home with Ocado, but when the ex moved out the budget changed, and she (like me) was now trying to make it work.

I reached out to grab a trolley but it ricocheted back with a chain.

‘You have to put a pound in like this!’

‘Do people actually steal trolleys?’

‘What do they use them for? Arty coffee tables? Playpens for the feral offspring?’

She smiled a sanguine smile in response. Silly Kiwi!

And on we went. I kept my eyes averted, lifting them only to oggle at tins of tomatoes for 20p a can. I’m sure they’re toms that’s what the picture said. Everything was in Italian, and my Latin reading abilities only reached the fifth form level. But how wrong can you get tomatoes in a can? Does it need to be the very best brand of toms?

‘OOOOOOh look at this Black Forest cured ham like prosciutto’. Strawberry Munchkin’s eyes were popping out of her head!

‘£1′

Of course it was from Germany, but we assume that’s a good thing for Black Forest ham.

The funny thing is that as a foreignor living here in the UK everything was different for me. I couldn’t buy only ‘good’ brand because I had no idea which brands were which. Going to Lidl’s was much the same as it was when I just stepped off the plane.

There wasn’t a great range of items, but then when you’re living on a budget do you need a confusing range? My priorities were that produce was fresh, and cost-effective. Cleaning products and loo roll were a real bargain.

‘Look, look’ said Strawberry Munchkin excitedly.

‘Australian chardonnay for £3′ That’s a bargain for convict wine.

Of course it was placed next to a bottle unconvincingly labelled Sambuca, and was coloured irredescent blue! Like loo blue! But I wouldn’t buy that psychadelic dream in a bottle even in a top-shelf store so no harm no foul.

But the highlight of my adventure in Lidl’s was nestled on a corner shelf in the fruit ‘department’. I beamed when I saw them. Rosy, crisp looking apples. Almost certainly not cool stored and destined to die in the fruit bowl in two days time.

They were so pretty! I just wanted to gobble them right up. Apple pie, apple sauce with roast pork….

Oh and the best thing?

They were a little like me.

Waitrose quality, but currently in Lidls.

And….they were a beautiful Kiwi import all the way from Godzone.

Image:

Flickr CC: elsieesq

Tagged as: budget, good food, groceries, Lidls, recession, shopping, Waitrose