I’ll Show You Mine..

I didn’t used to get spam on this blog, and honestly I felt spurned. Looked over, ignored.

What did I have to do to get me some spam?

Was I not ‘successful’ enough as a blogger to attract the attention of the spammers. For as anyone will tell you like Life Insurance brokers only target people who have absolutely no susceptibility to sudden, random death, spammers only target the hopelessly successful who do not need their linkage, traffic or libido enhancement materials.

OMG is the clue in that last sentence?

Did I moan about the dry spell too loudly and too often on Twitter? It was a joke people. A joke.

Only yesterday I moaned on Twitter that ‘I’m not pregnant PR people, I’m just fat’. Then had to explain myself as I received a series of tweets from howtodropasize bots. I’m not really fat, not Big Momma’s House fat. Nor am I pregnant. I’m just sick of receiving follows from baby guff companies.

But I digress.

I wanted to know why I didn’t have any spam. Why all the other people have spam. Cool kinda scary spammy followers like London City Mum’s Chinese spammer.

Why not me?

Well guess what. It happened.

I am now the proud recipient of a deluge of spam, all caught and stuck in bloggy limbo by the very useful Akismet plugin.

And now I’m going to show you some of mine. But only if you show me yours. Write in and leave some of your spammy wisdom in the comments. After all everyone, even spammers, deserve their fifteen minutes of fame.

First up we have:

- I big fan of http://www.vegemitevix.com/2010/08/mrs-waitrose-goes-to-lidl/, Greet­ings from Panama. Me share pretty video.

Er thanks so much spammy xoihlnloih.es I think honey you need to work on your written English if you’re going to pass yourself off as a genuinely interested reader, and not reveal yourself as someone who is after linkage.  Actually probably wise to not reveal quite so much of yourself at all. Don’t they have swimsuits in Panama?

Next up is this over-sharer commenting on ‘What do you do in a queue’ and the gigantic Krakatoa zit (somebody else’s zit not mine!) I itched to pick.

- We live in the mid­west and plan on vis­it­ing New York in June.

Thanks so much for your edifying comment. Do they have BIG ZITs in the BIG Apple? Is that the connection I’m missing here. As well as telling the world your travel plans, could you pop down your home address, just so you know I can pop in whilst you’re away and relieve you of your flat screen tv, laptops and miscellaneous goodies.

Then there’s the brown-nosers. This guy almost had me at ‘hello’!

- Wow!, this was a top qual­ity post. In the­ory I’d like to write like this too — tak­ing time and real effort to make a good arti­cle… but what can I say… I keep putting it off and never seem to get some­thing done

I guess he found Can You Keep A Secret really moving. Funny. It was supposed to be funny!  Literary publishers, should you be reading, see even a completed meme results in fan mail! I’ve got it all goin on.

Ok so that’s all I’ve got at the moment. You’ve seen me with my pants down, come on if you blog, I’ve shown you mine, show me yours!

Prize will be the funniest spam comment will be featured on Vegemitevix!

Over to you..

I didn't used to get spam on this blog, and honestly I felt spurned. Looked over, ignored. What did I have to do to get me some spam? Was I not 'successful' enough as a blogger to attract the attention of the spammers. For as anyone will tell you like Life Insurance brokers only target people ...

Tagged as: blogging success, funny, humour, London City Mum's Chinese spammer, spam