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Dumb struck

There comes a time, even for the loquacious amongst us, when we run out of words. Not out of feelings, oh no! Just out of the ability to put those feelings into words. As for blogging about it….

Sometimes it’s impossible to blog something interesting or funny when you’re having fights with your OH or you feel empty, as if you need a break.

Am I the only one who feels depleted? Do writers run out of words? Do medicated depression sufferers still feel the blues? Do happily married, still very much in love newlyweds still fight hammer and tongs?

Do other people feel like this?

I wrote on my Facebook page yesterday – What’s wrong with me? In essence it was a dare. Go on, if you’re hard enough tell me how horrible I am. Tell me about the wart on my nose that everyone else has been too polite to mention. Tell me I’m hopeless, not good enough, that my writing sucks and as for my grammar and language….

Well, not just anyone is featured on the Twitter bad language bot!!

And I always thought I was polite.

No one wrote in and gave me a good tongue lashing – or keyboard whipping. No one said ‘yeah Vix you’re shite at this really, give it up and get a real job’. The couple of replies I had were along the lines of  ‘yeah I’m useless too’.

So I guess it’s part of the human condition then to feel dissatisfied with our own performance, or lack of performance. To feel frustration that we are not number one, or winning the race, and that we allow ourselves to feel green.

And somehow disheartened by other people’s success.

Envy is such an ugly emotion. But an equally motivating one.

I know that I just need a break really. We haven’t had a break from the kids (as much as I love them!) for over seven months now and I’m really tired. Yet this is the time for me to dig deep into the reserve and keep going. I’ve been doing heaps of work on my new media consultancy practise including starting the business blog, (finally) and I hope to get into the speaking arena. I love speaking. It’s a buzz. Like verbally bungy jumping.

So even though at times I feel struck dumb, I need to keep going. To keep being honest. When I feel empty and uncertain what to blog, I need to remember why I’m blogging, and that was to tell my true story. Sometimes true stories have dull times, sad chapters, knackered chapters…

I’ve got to the end of my rope.

I’m tying a knot and hanging on. Hopefully, I’ll swing back in Tarzan style with wonderful words, and brilliant blog posts tommorrow.

Thanks for reading! You don’t know how much you reading me has changed my life.

Mwah!

Vix xx

NB/ A bit of good news! Finally Technorati has recognised my blog’s success and returned a score of 498!! YAY!

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  • Notes From Lapland

    It was about time Technorati showed you some love! Babes, you keep hanging on in there, you know you can do it, I know you can do it. And if you need a few days off from this blog then take it, don't wear yourself down when you don't have to – use your energy for the important things.

  • http://twitter.com/BritMumInNZ Sarah Lee

    I'm in awe of how you do it all! Serious ball juggling going on in your Hampshire woods! Tomorrow is another day with new vines to swing on :)

  • http://bloggertropolis.blogspot.com/ Steve

    I know how you feel. We all do I think. When it is too much effort to summon up the effort to keep going. When you feel like you're running hard but getting nowhere, or worse, getting somewhere that you don't really want to be. I'm back to work tomorrow after a lovely week off. Back to a job that I hate, that is creatively moribund and is a million miles from where I want to be. It's not even a job I'm particularly good at. But it's a means to an end. We have to keep going. Keep pushing. 'Cos sometimes the lucky breaks come in the darkest hours…

  • http://talesfromthevillage.com Rachael

    You work extremely hard, V, and I'm in awe of your levels of productivity. But y'know what? The blog won't die a death if you have a week off. You have loads of loyal readers, we're not going to bugger off if you take your eye off the ball. xx

  • http://www.didyabringyablogalong.blogspot.com/ aussiejazz

    I agree, I think it is part of the human condition to feel this way. I'm working hard to correct that, though, in my corner of the world. All too often, I get despondent at my lack of words (mostly on my blog), as if my blog alone is now the cornerstone of my successes (or worse…. failure GASP!) and I am taken to bouts of asking my loyal, long-suffering readers if I am worthy/good/witty/intelligent/intelligible enough for them. They sigh and pat my hand lovingly.

    If you need to quit for a while, please quit! It is quite awful to feel a slave to one's blog. God how I wish I could take a dose of my own well-advised medicine….

  • http://newdaynewlesson.com/ Susie @ Newdaynewlesson

    Lots of hugs hun. Go back and read this http://www.newdaynewlesson.com/?p=3872

    I think I need to send you some more books. :-)

  • http://www.gappytales.com gappysinglemum

    I understand completely what you're saying, and I'm sorry you're feeling like that.

    I feel it too. I often can't think of anything to write. Then I write something and think it looks o.k. only to read it back the next day and find that actually it is embarrassingly bad. So I change it and hope that not too many people have read it already. Blah blah blah. On it goes.

    By all means take a break if you think it will help. We'll all still be here when you get back. I, for one, am going nowhere :-)

  • jfb57

    It's tough when you feel low. It can come at any time but canusually be tracked back. You will bounce back although to be perfectly honest, I'm happy reading what you are producing now so…It is more about you & how you feel I know. Try to have a little break. It will re-energise you!x

  • Greatfun4kids

    Hey Vix, I'm feeling ya, honest! And yes, medicated depression sufferes DO still have low days! And if I remember right, newly married honeymooners still fight hammer and tongs (I wanted to run home from my honeymoon, but I was stuck in LA!) Yes, we run out of words, bloggers, writers, chatterboxes all.
    I've written about those days. I like keeping it real. This is your blog, right?? Write from YOUR heart; write what's going on with YOU. Anyone who doesn't like it can just click away. Me? I like honesty. Hoping you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon.
    Luv from Simone in Auckland, NZ

  • londoncitymum

    Typical – I am away ONE WEEK and look what happens… Pah.

    Time for another meet-up? Looks like I am on the hunt for more work now ;-)

    LCM x

  • Naomi

    I know what you mean. Sometimes I like to write long blogs and others just short. I think they all have impact but it can be hard to write when your brain won't let you. Blogging is a great way to share your life and for people to get to know you so every sentence you write is intersting for them. Don't forget that!

  • http://wartsguide.com/ warts

    Well, I agree with you, there are some times that we run out of words to say, as a blogger or a writer, you need to have a bunch of words to say.