There comes a time, even for the loquacious amongst us, when we run out of words. Not out of feelings, oh no! Just out of the ability to put those feelings into words. As for blogging about it….
Sometimes it’s impossible to blog something interesting or funny when you’re having fights with your OH or you feel empty, as if you need a break.
Am I the only one who feels depleted? Do writers run out of words? Do medicated depression sufferers still feel the blues? Do happily married, still very much in love newlyweds still fight hammer and tongs?
Do other people feel like this?
I wrote on my Facebook page yesterday – What’s wrong with me? In essence it was a dare. Go on, if you’re hard enough tell me how horrible I am. Tell me about the wart on my nose that everyone else has been too polite to mention. Tell me I’m hopeless, not good enough, that my writing sucks and as for my grammar and language….
Well, not just anyone is featured on the Twitter bad language bot!!
And I always thought I was polite.
No one wrote in and gave me a good tongue lashing – or keyboard whipping. No one said ‘yeah Vix you’re shite at this really, give it up and get a real job’. The couple of replies I had were along the lines of ‘yeah I’m useless too’.
So I guess it’s part of the human condition then to feel dissatisfied with our own performance, or lack of performance. To feel frustration that we are not number one, or winning the race, and that we allow ourselves to feel green.
And somehow disheartened by other people’s success.
Envy is such an ugly emotion. But an equally motivating one.
I know that I just need a break really. We haven’t had a break from the kids (as much as I love them!) for over seven months now and I’m really tired. Yet this is the time for me to dig deep into the reserve and keep going. I’ve been doing heaps of work on my new media consultancy practise including starting the business blog, (finally) and I hope to get into the speaking arena. I love speaking. It’s a buzz. Like verbally bungy jumping.
So even though at times I feel struck dumb, I need to keep going. To keep being honest. When I feel empty and uncertain what to blog, I need to remember why I’m blogging, and that was to tell my true story. Sometimes true stories have dull times, sad chapters, knackered chapters…
I’ve got to the end of my rope.
I’m tying a knot and hanging on. Hopefully, I’ll swing back in Tarzan style with wonderful words, and brilliant blog posts tommorrow.
Thanks for reading! You don’t know how much you reading me has changed my life.
NB/ A bit of good news! Finally Technorati has recognised my blog’s success and returned a score of 498!! YAY!