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Twitter’s Social Losers

You’ve been trying to hide the L on your forehead with your fringe.

Or combover.

You may as well give it up, we all know you’re an addict. A twit.

And ergo….

A social loser sporting a playstation tan, and an inability to converse in sentences of more than 140 characters.

We understand you rise, check twitter on your smartphone, then go through the morning’s abolutions. You have no real friends. Your friends are head and shoulders only, or perhaps a purple image of  a bird. When you meet people you invariable punctuate your emotional response through LOL, or smilies.

It is not possible for you to pass a day without broadcasting your every thought, dietary intake, or random bowel movements. You wouldn’t give birth, without publicising it on Twitter. Your best man would be standing at the altar tweeting the events –

Minister sd will u take this woman? He sez: I will. Cool! LOL!

You don’t believe in self-censorship. You believe in your own celebrity. You are a geek and proud of it. But do you deserve the L on your forehead?

Apparently not. According to recent research Twitter and Facebook can be good for you! A recent Fast Company story (as discussed on the BNET blog here)  has highlighted the work of Dr Paul J Zak (aka Dr Love) who highlights how using social media stimulates the release of oxytocin. Yup the same drug women release when giving birth. The same hormone that stimulates empathy, trust and bonding.

Do you love Twitter?

You’re not alone. According to Dr Zak it’s more than likely that your online interactions create the same warm buzz you get from chatting with friends over a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc (Oyster Bay of course), or cuddling your kids. Some clever marketers have even extrapolated Dr Zak’s findings into a little social media industry that focusses on the power of digital oxytocin. They suggest that brands – and yes people in the individual-as-brand kind of way – can create a sense of bond and trust through developing their online engagements.

Wow!

And you thought you were just wittering away. You loser you! Who knew you were actually at the forefront of a new movement focussed on love, trust and familiarity.

Funny, it’s like you’re developing friends, influencing others..even developing online relationships! You don’t need to get out more. Your avatar already is.

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  • JulieB

    Yay! I knew it!

  • http://www.blottedcopybook.co.uk Vonnie

    I’m definitely a social loser in this case because I twittered my labour (“ZOMG I’m 8cm dilated. W00T!!”) and twitpic’d a photo of my newborn less than 5 minutes postpartum. But – I don’t think I’d have got through my hideous PND without the support of my tweetmates.

  • http://softthistle.net Marylin

    I am definitely a Sad Twitter Loser… and I don’t care who knows it! I love that I can connect with so many people, some like-minded, some not, at the touch of my iPhone. Although the down-time it’s had over the last few days had made me get Very Angry with it…

  • Peabee72

    So we're losers, but also winners? Excellent *bookmarks links to show husband*

  • http://twitter.com/vwallop Victoria Wallop

    My name is Victoria and I am a Twitter addict. What's not to love about it?

  • Eggs, cream and honey

    Twitter oh what a funny creature it is! I have a love hate relationship with it for sure. I try hard not to get sucked in but sometimes it just can't be help. See ya there later for sure x

  • brightonmumteenageangst

    I am vindicated! I just knew it was good for me…

  • Silsetto

    Hmm. I'm not convinced but then maybe I'm just too misanthropic to be thrilled by social network sites. I do use Facebook and Twitter – but only really to pimp mu blog. Initially I was quite a Twitter devotee but the novelty soon wore off. Sometimes you can lose the moment trying to report the moment. Real life took over. I'm kind of glad!

  • http://www.expatmum.blogspot.com Expat Mum

    Ooh, puts fingers in ears and shouts “La, la, la” in an effort not to be tempted to Tweet. I just don't have the time.

  • Martin Koss

    Good morning Vicki. I enjoyed this latest post of yours… It reminding me I must pull my sleeves up when I go outside and attract some sunlight beyond my 'playstation' tan lines – (sniff sniff) oh dear, maybe I should change this shirt too…

    You rattled my giggle box with “Minister sd will u take this woman? He sez: I will. Cool! LOL!”

  • http://catep36.blogspot.com/ Cate P

    Aww, you wrote a post about ME ;)
    I too have a love/hate relationship with the adorable and yet somehow wretched thing. Not totally addicted though….*hiding the L with a beanie*…

  • http://www.muddlingalongmummy.com/ Muddling Along Mummy

    I'm not addicted, no not in the slightest littlest bit!

  • spudballoo

    Waaah! Fantastic…we're losers but we're winning losers ;-)

    I love Twitter for its combination of quick fire chat/gossip/support and really interesting and helpful info. But sometimes I get irritated by the cliqueyness of it and, especially, people high fiving themselves. Then I have to turn the Twitter off and go and lie down for a bit and be with the Real People.

  • Notes From Lapland

    oh well, if it's good for me! *logs back on to Twitter*

  • http://www.pantswithnames.com Pants With Names

    I'm still learning to like twitter. It's taken a while. But I can't stand the abbreviations – because I'm a grumpy old lady at heart!

  • Platespinner

    I’ve just joined twitter and I did think, ‘yikes!’ at the first half of your post…and was then slightly reassured by the research. I have a horrible feeling I’m going to be turning into a twitter addict very soon…

  • vegemitevix

    I struggle with the abbrev too! LOL! And my daughter has actually started saying L.O.L I mean really! As in 'loll'.

  • vegemitevix

    yeah it's social ritalin! ;-p

  • vegemitevix

    People high-flying it? Really? Who? *she starts climbing down ladder from cloud*

  • vegemitevix

    hahahaha we should have a little Twitter Anon club. You may be having problems with step number one Muddling….realising you have a problem….

  • vegemitevix

    Beanies are so skater-chick cool! I sometimes wonder what time it is in Melbourne when you're on Twitter. Are you rust? Do you never sleep?

  • vegemitevix

    Yeah, but did you see Dannii Minogue did tweet her birth. It's a Brave New World we live in. Of course that brave new world is populated by the same old flawed, funny people. The only thing that's changed is we've managed to find a way to have global conversations.

  • vegemitevix

    When I first starting using Twitter I couldn't see the point, but now I miss it if I'm disconnected for a while, as I was this weekend whilst camping. Disconnected through choice I might add, not through lack of access to tech.

  • vegemitevix

    Someone asked me at Cybermummy how much time per day Twitter took up. I replied abt two hours. She was horrified. Absolutely horrified.

  • vegemitevix

    Oh yes, losing the moment because you're reporting the moment that's very very true.

  • vegemitevix

    My husband doesn't get it either. He really doesn't. He feels it's trivial. He just doesn't see all those deep conversations we have about existentialist beliefs and curing world poverty!

  • vegemitevix

    Like a superb bottle of NZ pinot noir or Sauvignon Blanc.

  • vegemitevix

    Or you, you're adorable and life wouldn't be the same without your woolly avatar.

  • vegemitevix

    Absolutely true. Funny though I tend to catch up with mainly UK friends rather than friends overseas on Twitter, I wonder why..

  • vegemitevix

    See you're a pioneer! Yay!

  • spudballoo

    he he….no, not you! Mostly local businesses actually….all pitching for the same business and thus full of bravado about how many enquiries they've had, how many pitches they've done, how brilliantly they went etc. Infuriating. I should just unfollow…but then I might miss something. Oh God I hate myself….LOL <did you know a kitten dies every time someone uses that abbreviation. apparently. Must be true. Someone on Twitter told me…

  • http://twitter.com/tattooed_mummy tattooed_mummy

    Love this post (obviously) 20000+ tweets? I need a life, where can I download one?

  • http://itsallaboutthephotos.blogspot.com/ PhotoPuddle

    I never really “got” Twitter until I was bored and signed up a couple of weeks ago. Now I'm afraid to say I'm rather addicted. Everyone on it is so nice (well the people I'm following are) and it's great because there is always something going on and it's just a great place to be totally random.

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