July 2010

Gnashers

30 July 2010

‘Please Grandma, please’vegemitevix false teeth

All big dark saucer-eyes,  the little tyke begged convincingly with the type of appeal that a major advertising agency would be proud of. He pointed fat chubby fingers at the lollies stashed by the counter.

‘No, not today’

‘Gran-ma pleeeeeeeeeeeeese’

I stifled a laugh. My mother turned to me exasperated.

‘Why do they put them at the counter? We’ve almost got out of here scot-free’.

We’d successfully negotiated the trolley past the crisps aisle (‘Nope nothing down there we need’) and past the doughnuts with their cream and gluggy strawberry jam. We’d managed to divert his attention when the free-be tester was handing out chocolate.

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Rose Tinted Glasses

28 July 2010

Some days I can’t see anything but darkness.

Black and white photo images that mirror my black and white mood. Stark. Spare. Skeletal, life without flesh.

Life leeched of colour.

Some days I don’t see black. I simply don’t see. Anything. The images hit my retina but my mind refuses to decipher the shapes, the patterns, the colour.

Some days there is no beauty to be seen.

Other days my mind explodes!

My eyes see colours, my heart feels shades. My mind sees potential and purpose and beauty and rythym. Lifeblood courses through my veins. Living in full colour.

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The Night of Walking Zombies

27 July 2010

We have sleep issues, in our house. We don’t. Between my Englishman who is working hard on becoming a workaholic, myself who is a reformed workaholic (so I tell myself), Dark Princess who rises at dawn irrespective of when she went to sleep, and Miss Ten who is definately a little ray of bloody sunshine at 5am, there’s just not much sleep happening here.

Son, aged 16, home on that interminable summer ‘break’ between school and college is in a class all of his own. He is quite literally, a zombie.

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God Complex

27 July 2010

I don’t get it.

I understand how someone can contemplate taking their own life.

I know it’s  a mortal sin as far as some religions are concerned, but I believe that God sees the pain and confusion that individual is suffering as they make that decision.

In dark moments I’ve seriously considered it. I’ve even thought through the method. I think more people than you realise have thought about taking their own life.

I understand how the terminally ill can wish for a gentle release from their life of suffering. Would I make the same decision? I probably would.

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Is fidelity too much to expect?

27 July 2010

I heard something I found really strange the other day and I’ve been trying to think of a way to blog about it.

I need your opinions.

I’m not sure if my reaction to what I heard is a function of a protestant Christian morality that has no place in today’s secular society, or was in fact a reaction to my feminist leanings.

What I heard really upset me.

I’ve asked my friend if I can blog about it, but I won’t use the couple’s concerned real names. I’m working on the basis that her man doesn’t read this blog. Anyway….

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So Long and Thanks for all the Fish

26 July 2010

What happened? vegemitevix wonders where have the fish n chips gone

Did the Channel dry up?

Fish n Chips used to be the English national dish. I know this because in New Zealand, we were brought up on fish n chips and as everyone knows NZ is like a little microcosm of England c 1960!

So why then couldn’t we buy it yesterday not for love nor money? What happened to the Fish n Chips? Never mind the mushy peas, they were always a bad idea. In fact I’d not seen mushy peas until I bought a scoop of chips on the sea front of Scarborough on honeymoon. Psychadelic green, glow in the dark mushy peas, must have radioactive qualities that promote intestinal health, or have the carbohydrate loading that would power a small northern town!

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That’s how we kept what we gave away

24 July 2010

My favourite song from backpacking days:

“Comes a time, when you’re drifting,

Comes a time when you settle down…..

We were right, we were giving,

That’s how we kept what we gave away”

Just picture me aged 20 dressed in a tie dyed pinafore, a muslin blouse and long silver dangly earrings. Playing my beloved Ibanez guitar and singing away a la Joan Baez or Carole King. Or at least trying to!

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The Fear

23 July 2010

IN 30minutes my office will be invaded.

I am defenceless. The MI5 aren’t going to climb out onto the balcony for this one. Somehow I have to get through it.

IN 30 minutes the summer holidays will have begun, for everyone but this working Mum.

Roll on desperate conversations about how to get kids to entertain themselves in a small rural town without money (or transport), and temperamental weather. I used to get by over the summer holidays sending the kids to holiday programmes and booking in a week of sunshine at our much loved surf beach Whangapoua.

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Paradise Lost

22 July 2010

“Is it dead? Is it?” vegemitevix paradise lost

I looked down but couldn’t see through tears threatening to slip down my cheeks. Moisture for the dusty Fijian track. I could see fur, and a flash of thick pink tongue and dark blood. So dark. I never knew blood was that black before.

Black as death.

My older sister and the other big kids wandered over nonchalently. They’d seen it happen too. They were curious.

What now?

“I don’t know” I said.

How was I supposed to know what dead looked like?

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Are You Over-friendly?

21 July 2010

Sorry I have no room.

No room in my digital little black book for any more. I’ve got those who’ll cry big wet tears with me when times are bad, those who’ll take the piss with me. There are others who are a little opportunistic. I know they’re hanging on in case I should ever be useful to them.

There are those who’ve picked me up off the floor when I was so wretched I could not even stand. I have drinking buddies and bloggy mates, and old school friends, and Facebook extended family and fans (of the blog not neccessarily of me!)

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