June 2010

Two Very Different Homecomings

30 June 2010

Yesterday two very different bands of brothers returned home.

The first a band of (arguably) overpaid sportsmen.

They fought for their country’s football pride, and lost

Dour faced, dressed in grey.

Ashamed.

Embarrassed.

Funereal.

They return to homes, and WAGs and luxury.

They return home, alive.

The second band, a band of brothers in arms.

No dour faces.

No shame.

Only coffins dressed in the Union flag.

Seven coffins.

Seven families will never be the same again.  Read more... (162 words, 2 images, estimated 39 secs reading time)

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The worms’ revenge

29 June 2010

My Englishman is into the country lifestyle – hunting, fishing, shooting – all the boys stuff! Well actually not so much the shooting, or the hunting, but the fishing…ah yes the fishing. Vegemitevix tends the wormery with disastrous results

He loves it. He loves throwing a line over into the lake and fighting with a wiley perch or a troublesome carp. He’ll land the critter then take photographic evidence (it was THIS big!) and then gently part it’s briny lips, remove the hook and set it free.

Of course in NZ I’d take out the knife and make sashimi.  Read more... (581 words, 1 image, estimated 2:19 mins reading time)

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Snack food and Substance

29 June 2010

The weird thing about living in the 21st century is that I can talk to you. 

I don’t know who you are, or the colour of your eyes, or whether you had three square meals today. I don’t know whether you are happy, or sad or quietly seething at your kids or your other half as you sit down here, to read.

To read me.

That blows my mind!  Read more... (1121 words, 1 image, estimated 4:29 mins reading time)

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Nutty as a Fruit Cake

28 June 2010

One of my Dad’s favourite sayings is that someone is as Nutty as  Fruit Cake.
Or indeed; Fruity as a Nut Cake.

Some people just are. Aren’t they? It doesn’t matter where I live in the world one thing I’ve realised is that there are crazy crazy loco people wherever you go. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. After all, it makes the world a funnier place. Er…and some of those crazy people would be……us…

Like the electronics engineer who placed the iron to his face to hear if it was still working. And ironed his cheek. Ah yes, that’d be my husband on the day before our wedding!  Read more... (598 words, 5 images, estimated 2:24 mins reading time)

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I wish

26 June 2010

I wish I knew then, what I know now.

I wish I’d had the forsight to see far off into the future and see the inevitable. Perhaps I could have made changes. Maybe even changed myself. Would I do it differently? I think so.

I wish moving on didn’t take so much. I wish forgiveness wasn’t so elusive. I wish I could be more forgiving, and forgetting.

I wish forgetting wasn’t so much work. I am so tired sometimes.  Read more... (327 words, 1 image, estimated 1:18 mins reading time)

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B.I.Ts

24 June 2010

A terrible thing has happened to Miss Ten. B.I.Ts

She’s developed a condition that cannot be cured. We need to simply manage it, ride it out and hope for the best.

My very best tomboy is morphing into a girl. She now has Boobs In Training. (B.I.T.S)

And she doesn’t like it one little bit.

I understand. I’ve been there. The first time your developing boobs curb your tree-climbing prowess a certain little tonka-truck-loving-part-of-you dies.  Read more... (890 words, 1 image, estimated 3:34 mins reading time)

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Not My Fault

24 June 2010

not my fault?I was out picking elderflowers this morning with my new friend …let’s call her Strawberry Munchkin…because let’s face it everyone has to have a nom de plume on this blog! She’s petite and fun, and has the strawberries and cream complexion that many English women are blessed with.

We were skipping along the country lane and she was ably identifying the flowery thingy there (rosa verbosa, or garguntuan or rosa who-the-fricka-knows), and the weedy looking thingy there, nettles(ouch yes nettles!), and discussing the ins and outs of modern life and death divorce.  Read more... (1380 words, 1 image, estimated 5:31 mins reading time)

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This Townie Needs To Know

23 June 2010

I’ll admit it.I’m a townie.This townie needs to know

I grew up in a city. Contrary to popular opinion the majority of New Zealanders don’t grow up surrounded by paddocks full of sheep. They don’t enter the world via the pumpkin patch either, but that’s a whole nother blog post. Most Kiwis (the people not the fruit!), live in the major cities. Auckland, where I’m from is a very stretched out city. It will take you approximately two hours to drive from the top of the Auckland area to the most southern point. Stretched out between two harbours, just under 2 million people live there. It has all the modern hallmarks of a big major centre – we have tall buildings, we have traffic jams, we have graffiti and we have our share of urban decay and crime.  Read more... (579 words, 1 image, estimated 2:19 mins reading time)

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The PR Version

22 June 2010

Now I can tell a tale. Tall, small, porky, big or fat. I can tell tales that have tails!

This skill has been something of a bonus working professionally as  PR consultant over twenty years. I’ve written about all sorts of things -the bovine equivalent of a stretch limousine (exotic cattle), body scanners at UK airports (strip search scanning), even locks and hinges (Just call me Madame Lash!). I guess this means that I also have an acute BS radar.  Read more... (691 words, estimated 2:46 mins reading time)

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Peace, Love and Blog Evangelism

22 June 2010

I was once a happy clappy ceiling scraper.

I believe that is the ‘technical’ term for those enthusiastic creatures who encourage (loudly and persistently) ordinary people passing minding their own business, to come into the fold of their church.

It was a long time ago now, but the lessons I learnt during that period of time remain with me. They’re actually excellent lessons for any marketer. It was no surprise to me to observe, many years later, Multi Level Marketers of a well known international company, exhibiting exactly the same behaviour..dare I say the same techniques.  Read more... (1242 words, 1 image, estimated 4:58 mins reading time)

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