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Darling dirty wife

Dear Husband

You really are a fantastic bloke and I love you more than chocolate. In fact you and chocolate have a great deal in common – my undying love, my appetite, your strength..

You really are a great bloke! I just have a little niggle. It’s a wee one. Could we possibly have our bathroom recommissioned for the weekend?

I know you were extremely concerned that the wet plasterboard behind the tiles would mean that the wall would collapse and the house would fall down, so you removed said tiles and set the heater in the bathroom to full blast. That was last Saturday.

I agree it was wrong of me to test the moisture content of the wall by poking it with my strong finger. (I didn’t know it was that strong!) It was a shame the substrate wall thingy – is that what you call the cardboard looking stuff  behind the removed tiles? – yeah, well it’s a shame it cracked.

Funny hey! I don’t know my own strength. Though I think you’ll agree it’s not so funny that the bathroom has taken considerably longer to dry out, with the crack in the substrate and all.

I know the English are world famous for their aptitude in sponge-bathing, as my Mum, the Australian, filled me in. She told me that ‘The English don’t shower’ which for an Australian is like saying you are pretty filthy as a people. I don’t agree with her neccessarily, I’m just saying. In Australia they shower at least once a day, if not twice – mainly to get all the poisonous spiders off their skin.

Anyhoo ..

I know you were doing you best to be the best Tim the Tool Man Taylor, home handyman, but please please please could I have a shower tonight?

love

Your darling dirty wife! xxx

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  • potentialmummyb

    Ha ha! Love it! I hope you manage to get that shower sooner rather than later… I have to say, I’ve been noticing a bit of a whiff in the air recently! ;o) Good luck!

    • vegemitevix

      I got one!! Yes I did cower under the shower head trying to avoid the tarpaulin we stuck to the tiled wall, but I did get one.

  • @carolinesweetie

    Very very funny post as always.Cannot tweet you to comment as you don’t seem to be following me and I am locked. Loved the post

    • vegemitevix

      thanks Caroline, I’m following you now. It’s always great seeing you over here! x

  • http://newdaynewlesson.com/ Susie @ Newdaynewlesson

    LMAO-sorry. I have 4 bathrooms-want to borrow one?

  • http://www.mommyhasaheadache.blogspot.com/ EmmaK

    I feel your pain. My husband has been ‘working’ on the basement bathroom for the past 3 years and in that period we have not been able to take a bath in it. No we do not smell like skunks! luckily we have an upstairs bathroom but I wish he’d get a contractor in to finish the job because at this rate he will be finished by 2020

    • vegemitevix

      I did get a shower and even managed to colour my hair! Bonus!

  • EmmaK

    I feel your pain. My husband has been 'working' on the basement bathroom for the past 3 years and in that period we have not been able to take a bath in it. No we do not smell like skunks! luckily we have an upstairs bathroom but I wish he'd get a contractor in to finish the job because at this rate he will be finished by 2020

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  • http://www.notefromlapland.com/ Notes From Lapland

    ha ha ha, this sounds all too familiar. i have been brushing my teeth in the kitchen sink for about 3 months now and still no sign of the bathroom sink being fixed. Hope you get to shower soon – at least before May!

    • vegemitevix

      Hubby currently up ladder in the bathroom installing an extractor fan, or drilling holes in the wall for fun. One or other.

      • http://www.notefromlapland.com/ Notes From Lapland

        well, you know what these men and their power tools are like, it could well
        be just for fun!

  • potentialmummyb

    Ha ha! Love it! I hope you manage to get that shower sooner rather than later… I have to say, I've been noticing a bit of a whiff in the air recently! ;o) Good luck!

  • @carolinesweetie

    Very very funny post as always.Cannot tweet you to comment as you don't seem to be following me and I am locked. Loved the post

  • http://newdaynewlesson.wordpress.com/ Susie @ Newdaynewlesson

    LMAO-sorry. I have 4 bathrooms-want to borrow one?

  • notesfromlapland

    ha ha ha, this sounds all too familiar. i have been brushing my teeth in the kitchen sink for about 3 months now and still no sign of the bathroom sink being fixed. Hope you get to shower soon – at least before May!

  • http://www.muddlingalongmummy.com/ Muddling Along

    Hahaha I feel your pain (no bathroom or hot water for three weeks whilst heavily pregnant) – hope its been recomissioned

  • muddlingalongmummy

    Hahaha I feel your pain (no bathroom or hot water for three weeks whilst heavily pregnant) – hope its been recomissioned

  • cafebebe

    I REALLY miss showers. We too only have a bath…what is it with the English? When we stay in hotels, I always say “I miss having a shower” and hubby even agrees with me. So much less time consuming, bing-bang-boom and you’re out! Not so with a bath. Sigh…one day! ;)
    Karin

    • vegemitevix

      Oh you poor thing! I didn’t know that. Funny just had a tetchy ‘discussion’ with my hubby about the way the bathroom is built with the shower over the bath. He replied that people probably didn’t have showers when the house was build (1970s) WHAT?? Very very different from where I’m from… and I suspect from where you’re from too. You can come stay at mine for a mini break. I’ll even treat you to a shower!!

  • http://www.wholeselfleadership.com/ Kate

    Love it. Anytime it gets too much you can always pop over here. We have 3 bathrooms and one of those is always reserved for guests and has both a shower and a bath in it! Glad to hear you managed to get one….

  • Kate

    Love it. Anytime it gets too much you can always pop over here. We have 3 bathrooms and one of those is always reserved for guests and has both a shower and a bath in it! Glad to hear you managed to get one….

  • vegemitevix

    I got one!! Yes I did cower under the shower head trying to avoid the tarpaulin we stuck to the tiled wall, but I did get one.

  • vegemitevix

    thanks Caroline, I'm following you now. It's always great seeing you over here! x

  • vegemitevix

    Oh yes please! LOL! First time in a number of years I've lived in a house with only one bathroom.

  • vegemitevix

    I did get a shower and even managed to colour my hair! Bonus!

  • vegemitevix

    Hubby currently up ladder in the bathroom installing an extractor fan, or drilling holes in the wall for fun. One or other.

  • vegemitevix

    Couldn't do the no hot water thing. Especially when pregnant. I spent my last three weeks of Son's gestation in a swimming pool. They had to scoop me out to send me to hospital.

  • cafebebe

    I REALLY miss showers. We too only have a bath…what is it with the English? When we stay in hotels, I always say “I miss having a shower” and hubby even agrees with me. So much less time consuming, bing-bang-boom and you're out! Not so with a bath. Sigh…one day! ;)
    Karin

  • vegemitevix

    Oh you poor thing! I didn't know that. Funny just had a tetchy 'discussion' with my hubby about the way the bathroom is built with the shower over the bath. He replied that people probably didn't have showers when the house was build (1970s) WHAT?? Very very different from where I'm from… and I suspect from where you're from too. You can come stay at mine for a mini break. I'll even treat you to a shower!!

  • notesfromlapland

    well, you know what these men and their power tools are like, it could well
    be just for fun!

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