web analytics

Darling dirty wife

Dear Husband

You really are a fantastic bloke and I love you more than chocolate. In fact you and chocolate have a great deal in common – my undying love, my appetite, your strength..

You really are a great bloke! I just have a little niggle. It’s a wee one. Could we possibly have our bathroom recommissioned for the weekend?

I know you were extremely concerned that the wet plasterboard behind the tiles would mean that the wall would collapse and the house would fall down, so you removed said tiles and set the heater in the bathroom to full blast. That was last Saturday.

I agree it was wrong of me to test the moisture content of the wall by poking it with my strong finger. (I didn’t know it was that strong!) It was a shame the substrate wall thingy – is that what you call the cardboard looking stuff  behind the removed tiles? – yeah, well it’s a shame it cracked.

Funny hey! I don’t know my own strength. Though I think you’ll agree it’s not so funny that the bathroom has taken considerably longer to dry out, with the crack in the substrate and all.

I know the English are world famous for their aptitude in sponge-bathing, as my Mum, the Australian, filled me in. She told me that ‘The English don’t shower’ which for an Australian is like saying you are pretty filthy as a people. I don’t agree with her neccessarily, I’m just saying. In Australia they shower at least once a day, if not twice – mainly to get all the poisonous spiders off their skin.

Anyhoo ..

I know you were doing you best to be the best Tim the Tool Man Taylor, home handyman, but please please please could I have a shower tonight?

love

Your darling dirty wife! xxx



About

Vegemitevix is the story of a crazy Kiwi travel blogger and expat Mum who swapped Vegemite for Marmite, Pavlova for Pork Pies, and beautiful beaches for Blighty all for the love of an Englishman she met in Paris. Now back in New Zealand Vegemitevix blogs about travel, expat life, parenting teenagers and how to blog. Please follow on Google + my Google Profile+.



'Darling dirty wife' has 579 comments

  1. March 26, 2010 @ 3:07 pm potentialmummyb

    Ha ha! Love it! I hope you manage to get that shower sooner rather than later… I have to say, I’ve been noticing a bit of a whiff in the air recently! ;o) Good luck!

    Reply

    • March 27, 2010 @ 2:11 pm vegemitevix

      I got one!! Yes I did cower under the shower head trying to avoid the tarpaulin we stuck to the tiled wall, but I did get one.

      Reply

  2. March 26, 2010 @ 3:09 pm @carolinesweetie

    Very very funny post as always.Cannot tweet you to comment as you don’t seem to be following me and I am locked. Loved the post

    Reply

    • March 27, 2010 @ 2:12 pm vegemitevix

      thanks Caroline, I’m following you now. It’s always great seeing you over here! x

      Reply

  3. March 26, 2010 @ 3:17 pm Susie @ Newdaynewlesson

    LMAO-sorry. I have 4 bathrooms-want to borrow one?

    Reply

  4. March 26, 2010 @ 4:38 pm EmmaK

    I feel your pain. My husband has been ‘working’ on the basement bathroom for the past 3 years and in that period we have not been able to take a bath in it. No we do not smell like skunks! luckily we have an upstairs bathroom but I wish he’d get a contractor in to finish the job because at this rate he will be finished by 2020

    Reply

    • March 27, 2010 @ 2:13 pm vegemitevix

      I did get a shower and even managed to colour my hair! Bonus!

      Reply

  5. March 26, 2010 @ 4:38 pm EmmaK

    I feel your pain. My husband has been 'working' on the basement bathroom for the past 3 years and in that period we have not been able to take a bath in it. No we do not smell like skunks! luckily we have an upstairs bathroom but I wish he'd get a contractor in to finish the job because at this rate he will be finished by 2020

    Reply

  6. March 26, 2010 @ 7:49 pm Tweets that mention Darling dirty wife | Vegemitevix -- Topsy.com

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Vicki Jeffels, Vicki Jeffels. Vicki Jeffels said: A tender letter from a darling dirty wife to her husband – http://bit.ly/burZrO […]

    Reply

  7. March 26, 2010 @ 7:52 pm Notes From Lapland

    ha ha ha, this sounds all too familiar. i have been brushing my teeth in the kitchen sink for about 3 months now and still no sign of the bathroom sink being fixed. Hope you get to shower soon – at least before May!

    Reply

    • March 27, 2010 @ 2:14 pm vegemitevix

      Hubby currently up ladder in the bathroom installing an extractor fan, or drilling holes in the wall for fun. One or other.

      Reply

      • March 27, 2010 @ 2:32 pm Notes From Lapland

        well, you know what these men and their power tools are like, it could well
        be just for fun!

        Reply

  8. March 26, 2010 @ 3:07 pm potentialmummyb

    Ha ha! Love it! I hope you manage to get that shower sooner rather than later… I have to say, I've been noticing a bit of a whiff in the air recently! ;o) Good luck!

    Reply

  9. March 26, 2010 @ 3:09 pm @carolinesweetie

    Very very funny post as always.Cannot tweet you to comment as you don't seem to be following me and I am locked. Loved the post

    Reply

  10. March 26, 2010 @ 3:17 pm Susie @ Newdaynewlesson

    LMAO-sorry. I have 4 bathrooms-want to borrow one?

    Reply

  11. March 26, 2010 @ 7:52 pm notesfromlapland

    ha ha ha, this sounds all too familiar. i have been brushing my teeth in the kitchen sink for about 3 months now and still no sign of the bathroom sink being fixed. Hope you get to shower soon – at least before May!

    Reply

  12. March 27, 2010 @ 7:13 am Muddling Along

    Hahaha I feel your pain (no bathroom or hot water for three weeks whilst heavily pregnant) – hope its been recomissioned

    Reply

  13. March 27, 2010 @ 7:13 am muddlingalongmummy

    Hahaha I feel your pain (no bathroom or hot water for three weeks whilst heavily pregnant) – hope its been recomissioned

    Reply

  14. March 27, 2010 @ 2:21 pm cafebebe

    I REALLY miss showers. We too only have a bath…what is it with the English? When we stay in hotels, I always say “I miss having a shower” and hubby even agrees with me. So much less time consuming, bing-bang-boom and you’re out! Not so with a bath. Sigh…one day! 😉
    Karin

    Reply

    • March 27, 2010 @ 2:31 pm vegemitevix

      Oh you poor thing! I didn’t know that. Funny just had a tetchy ‘discussion’ with my hubby about the way the bathroom is built with the shower over the bath. He replied that people probably didn’t have showers when the house was build (1970s) WHAT?? Very very different from where I’m from… and I suspect from where you’re from too. You can come stay at mine for a mini break. I’ll even treat you to a shower!!

      Reply

  15. March 27, 2010 @ 2:47 pm Kate

    Love it. Anytime it gets too much you can always pop over here. We have 3 bathrooms and one of those is always reserved for guests and has both a shower and a bath in it! Glad to hear you managed to get one….

    Reply

  16. March 27, 2010 @ 2:47 pm Kate

    Love it. Anytime it gets too much you can always pop over here. We have 3 bathrooms and one of those is always reserved for guests and has both a shower and a bath in it! Glad to hear you managed to get one….

    Reply

  17. March 27, 2010 @ 2:11 pm vegemitevix

    I got one!! Yes I did cower under the shower head trying to avoid the tarpaulin we stuck to the tiled wall, but I did get one.

    Reply

  18. March 27, 2010 @ 2:12 pm vegemitevix

    thanks Caroline, I'm following you now. It's always great seeing you over here! x

    Reply

  19. March 27, 2010 @ 2:12 pm vegemitevix

    Oh yes please! LOL! First time in a number of years I've lived in a house with only one bathroom.

    Reply

  20. March 27, 2010 @ 2:13 pm vegemitevix

    I did get a shower and even managed to colour my hair! Bonus!

    Reply

  21. March 27, 2010 @ 2:14 pm vegemitevix

    Hubby currently up ladder in the bathroom installing an extractor fan, or drilling holes in the wall for fun. One or other.

    Reply

  22. March 27, 2010 @ 2:14 pm vegemitevix

    Couldn't do the no hot water thing. Especially when pregnant. I spent my last three weeks of Son's gestation in a swimming pool. They had to scoop me out to send me to hospital.

    Reply

  23. March 27, 2010 @ 2:21 pm cafebebe

    I REALLY miss showers. We too only have a bath…what is it with the English? When we stay in hotels, I always say “I miss having a shower” and hubby even agrees with me. So much less time consuming, bing-bang-boom and you're out! Not so with a bath. Sigh…one day! 😉
    Karin

    Reply

  24. March 27, 2010 @ 2:31 pm vegemitevix

    Oh you poor thing! I didn't know that. Funny just had a tetchy 'discussion' with my hubby about the way the bathroom is built with the shower over the bath. He replied that people probably didn't have showers when the house was build (1970s) WHAT?? Very very different from where I'm from… and I suspect from where you're from too. You can come stay at mine for a mini break. I'll even treat you to a shower!!

    Reply

  25. March 27, 2010 @ 2:32 pm notesfromlapland

    well, you know what these men and their power tools are like, it could well
    be just for fun!

    Reply

  26. July 18, 2011 @ 7:38 am The Man Cave

    […] There’s no gas BBQ here, no dishes,no cell phone coverage (that’s why he doesn’t call!), no children, no boss, no suit and tie,  no DIY tasks. Or wives, or wives with DIY projects. Like bathrooms […]

    Reply


Would you like to share your thoughts?

Your email address will not be published.

Copyright 2015 Digital Discussions