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A Girl Guide in Paris

‘You are coming back…aren’t you?’  

I looked at him anxiously as he rushed to get out the door of the little hotel room. The man who would become My Englishman, looked confused.

‘Of course I am,’ he said with reassuring gusto.

And then he disappeared for an agonising forty minutes whilst I lay on the little single bed and waited. I hadn’t told him that a guy had left me before in similar circumstances and was simply never heard from again. I didn’t tell him that because, well, ….he might think I was that kind of girl. The sort that men have dark second thoughts about, turn around and flee as fast as they can!

Waiting for your lover to return is not something you do terribly patiently.

But ever the Girl Guide, I wanted to ‘be prepared’, and on discovering he did not carry any um, supplies, I had insisted he head off into the dark rim-around-the-bath-dirty Montmartre to get some. As he had forgotten the French word ( le preservatif, just so you know) and had to demonstrate by gesticulating to the pharmacist what he required, in the crazy hours of the morning, I was lucky he wasn’t thrown into prison. Or sectioned!

It had been the most wonderful day. I didn’t think these Before Sunrise/BeforeSunset days happened to someone like me. Whilst My Englishman has a little bit of Ethan Hawke about him, I’m no Julie Delpy! Before Sunrise/Before Sunset days don’t happen to me when I start the day with a ‘piss off men’ look on my face and traipse around Paris in an old grimy rain jacket and of course, the money wallet stuffed down my top – the money wallet that looked like the third breast.

Maybe My Englishman just had a thing for good Girl Guides who had three breasts?

I couldn’t quite believe he’d enjoyed my company so much. I definitely didn’t believe that he couldn’t find a train back to his hotel after we’d walked along the Seine arm in arm. After we’d talked all afternoon whilst looking through the Musee D’Orsay and then coffee at a cute little Parisian cafe, which had then led to a bottle of beaujolais and a beautiful French dinner. He had duck, and was so chivalrous… he attended to my chair, he ordered in French. He paid! (Blokes if you’re reading this – do this for the single mum date. It’s a winner!) If there’d been a mud puddle I swear he would have thrown his cape down for me to step over it!

No, I didn’t believe he was interested in me at all.

The rules of the first date are very clear –

  • No talking about your ex,
  • No talking about your children or baggage,
  • No talking about your hopes for the future.

We weren’t on a date, so we’d broken all of these rules. We’d forgotten to be on our best behaviour, and were just ourselves.

It was only after he’d kissed me passionately as we stood at the crossing in the middle of the Champs Elysees and discovered there were no more trains until morning, so he’d (oh dear) have to come back with me, that I thought maybe this was something more than a pleasant time in Paris.

He’d told me solemnly that he was a Christian kind of guy, and didn’t really do the one night stand, I’d decided that I wasn’t a one-night-stand kind of girl either, (it was a recent conversion) so we were in agreement that he might kip on the floor. But when we got to my room, a funny thing happened – all my clothes fell off. His hand – so sleight – had something to do with it. Then there was the kissing… that was a dead giveaway! You don’t tend to kiss your mates, well not like that!

Waiting, waiting, waiting….

Should I position my pose on the bed? Nah, too film star sex kitten.
Should I nonchalently look out my window, over the wrought iron balcony to the Sacre Coeur on the hill so that as he walked in I could casually throw him an ‘oh hi’ as if, you know, we were meeting for sandwiches.

At two in the morning. In my bra.

Could I get away with appearing to be reading? You know as if we were an old married couple sitting up in bed?

I wish I wasn’t so terribly uncool!!

Men just don’t realise the agonies we go through trying to be attractive for them.
I jumped off the bed and sprayed on a little more Versace perfume and put on some lipstick. Then rubbed it off. So it looked like it had worn with the day. Casual like. Now I had lipstick on and no mascara. That’s uneven. You either do a full face with the full works or a little mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick. He wouldn’t notice mascara would he?
I don’t want him to think I’d made an effort. I want the overall impression to be casual elegance. (To make up for my previous slovenliness.)

Why don’t I just find a ribbon for around my neck, tidy up my trotters, stick an apple in my mouth and lay down on a serving platter for his delectation!

Nervous and exasperated with myself for being so, I jumped under the covers. I didn’t get the chance to feign sleep, or boredom. I didn’t get the time to feign anything. Unrehearsed, unprepared, the door opened and flushed with early morning air stood the man who would become my husband.
He took me in his arms and unbelievably, quite unexpectedly, we fell into love………

image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chiaramarra/

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  • Karin @ Cafe Bebe

    That very well may be better than my story! In fact…it's the thing that NOVELS are made of! How delightful! ;)Karin

  • Karin @ Cafe Bebe

    That very well may be better than my story! In fact…it's the thing that NOVELS are made of! How delightful! ;)
    Karin

  • TheMadHouse

    Wonderful, everyone deserve true love.

  • TheMadHouse

    Wonderful, everyone deserve true love.

  • Nickie

    I love this :D Excellent x

  • Nickie

    I love this :D
    Excellent x

  • Josie

    Oh honey this is beautiful! I have so enjoyed reading your story installments.Gorgeously written. What a fabulous romantic start to such a special relationship x

  • Josie

    Oh honey this is beautiful! I have so enjoyed reading your story installments.

    Gorgeously written. What a fabulous romantic start to such a special relationship x

  • vegemitevix

    Thank you everyone! I hoped it wasn't y'know too much information. :-)

  • vegemitevix

    Thank you everyone! I hoped it wasn't y'know too much information. :-)

  • The moiderer

    I love that. Great writing capturing the moment perfectly. Thanx for sharing

  • The moiderer

    I love that. Great writing capturing the moment perfectly. Thanx for sharing

  • Victoria

    It wasn't too much information at all. It was absolutely lovely! You had me hooked x

  • Victoria

    It wasn't too much information at all. It was absolutely lovely! You had me hooked x

  • Heather

    oh wow, that was a super story, you are a terrific writer. I think i love you.

  • Heather

    oh wow, that was a super story, you are a terrific writer. I think i love you.

  • Trish @ Mum’s Gone to…

    Wow! What a cracker of a story. Just the right amount of mushy romance and self-deprecating humour. My favourite line? All my clothes fell off! Just fab writing x

  • Trish @ Mum’s Gone to…

    Wow! What a cracker of a story. Just the right amount of mushy romance and self-deprecating humour. My favourite line? All my clothes fell off! Just fab writing x

  • Cate

    Gorgeous!x

  • Cate

    Gorgeous!
    x

  • Sandy Calico

    LOVELY, really lovely. I've got a big soppy grin on my face :-)

  • Sandy Calico

    LOVELY, really lovely. I've got a big soppy grin on my face :-)

  • http://celestialmotherhood.blogspot.com/ Celestial Mother

    I really, really was Laughing Out Loud reading that – and that’s something I very rarely do!

    • vegemitevix

      Thank you!!!! I reread it again to cheer myself up today, and it made me smile too! The other ones in this series are ‘An Attractive Older Woman’, ‘Contact’, and ‘The One in Which I’m Dumped by an Eight Year Old’. Enjoy!! :-)

  • Celestial Mother

    I really, really was Laughing Out Loud reading that – and that's something I very rarely do!

  • vegemitevix

    Thank you!!!! I reread it again to cheer myself up today, and it made me smile too! The other ones in this series are 'An Attractive Older Woman', 'Contact', and 'The One in Which I'm Dumped by an Eight Year Old'. Enjoy!! :-)

  • saudianna

    You are hilarious! I love kiwi humor. So glad you found your man, would have been interested to know how he WOULD have got out of being arrested lol

    • vegemitevix

      Thanks very much Saudianna. Are you really in Saudi? How cool!!! The follow ups to this story are …. From Lover to Mother and back, and So Bloody unromantic parts one and two. Hope you enjoy!

      • saudianna

        Yes very much here. Weather report is hot and dry. Same and usual. Not many kiwis here in the big scale but enough to keep our accents lol. The kids are developing english accents (are we going in the taaax ee lol)
        Just off to change me knickers after reading your flying brazilian post. Dam near wet them!

  • saudianna

    You are hilarious! I love kiwi humor. So glad you found your man, would have been interested to know how he WOULD have got out of being arrested lol

  • vegemitevix

    Thanks very much Saudianna. Are you really in Saudi? How cool!!! The follow ups to this story are …. From Lover to Mother and back, and So Bloody unromantic parts one and two. Hope you enjoy!

  • saudianna

    Yes very much here. Weather report is hot and dry. Same and usual. Not many kiwis here in the big scale but enough to keep our accents lol. The kids are developing english accents (are we going in the taaax ee lol)
    Just off to change me knickers after reading your flying brazilian post. Dam near wet them!

  • saudianna

    You are hilarious! I love kiwi humor. So glad you found your man, would have been interested to know how he WOULD have got out of being arrested lol

  • vegemitevix

    Thanks very much Saudianna. Are you really in Saudi? How cool!!! The follow ups to this story are …. From Lover to Mother and back, and So Bloody unromantic parts one and two. Hope you enjoy!

  • saudianna

    Yes very much here. Weather report is hot and dry. Same and usual. Not many kiwis here in the big scale but enough to keep our accents lol. The kids are developing english accents (are we going in the taaax ee lol)
    Just off to change me knickers after reading your flying brazilian post. Dam near wet them!

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  • Gigi

    this is brilliant! Love it – want more of course :)

  • vegemitevix

    Thanks Gigi. There is more on the blog. I'm wanting to write this story up
    as a book proposal so will be actively working on it in the next few weeks.
    But some more posts to have a look at are -

    http://www.vegemitevix.com/2010/02/an-attractiv
    http://www.vegemitevix.com/2010/02/the-one-in-w
    http://www.vegemitevix.com/2010/04/so-bloody-un… and the
    sequel part two!

    Hope you enjoy!!!

  • Anonymous

    Awww, this is so lovely it’s made me cry. I want this to happen to me NOW! Thanks for sharing your wonderful story x

    • Anonymous

      Thank you very much. I’m writing up the story and all that happened after in a book soon to be released called From Pavlova to Pork Pies. Hopefully available by the end of the year. x

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  • http://www.lbddiaries.com/blog LBDDiaries

    Oh… oh – oh! There is nothing I can say that is perfect but OH! It was so romantic and your “waiting” was so poignant – beautifully written – I want more – is there more??

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  • Lisa Lintern

    Gorgeous…loved it. xo

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