November 2009

Blogging Bliss

27 November 2009

‘Will any money come from it?’ asked my mother anxiously in her Aussie twang.
‘At some stage probably, I just need to write a bit more and sell some pieces and…’ I fudged.
It’s like being asked if you’ll ever amount to anything. How would I know?
I’d just told my mum the big news (in my world) that darling Potty Mummy had announced me as the recipient of the ‘British Mummy Blogger of the Week’ award. I’ve been overwhelmed with the shaky thrill of it all since I discovered the news on Sunday night after a difficult weekend (where I lost my mind, and found it again at the bottom of a very nice Chardonnay!)
I started blogging proper in about September 2009 and it’s been a great learning experience. No, not like having your appendix out or toilet training the puppy. It truly has. I’ve learnt heaps of helpful stuff – like it’s a good idea to keep blogs short. That there are heaps of free digital photo resources on the web! And a whole heap of other techy stuff like Google Analytics and Blogger and Adsense. I’ve become a Statcounter addict, and I’m prone to grabbing a passing child and forcing them to look at the map of all the different countries where my blog’s been read! (‘Just look at them! Even in Almaty! Welcome to my reader in Almaty!’)  Read more... (859 words, 1 image, estimated 3:26 mins reading time)

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It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I want to!

24 November 2009

Who ARE all these women who have these glamorous lives flitting from soiree to soiree dressed up in their party frocks? At Christmas time in the UK the shops are full of party dresses, the TV full of tvc’s featuring cocktail parties and dressing up for Christmas and frankly, I’m jealous.
I wanna go to the ball!
One of the not-so-hot things about being a WAHM (that’s working at home Mum, for the uninitiated!) is that you don’t get the excuse of the work do to really dress up and play up. That didn’t matter so much pre-recession, because there was always the hubby’s ‘do’, and dependent on the work place, this could be a fabulous affair.
If he worked somewhere wonderful, then you got to accompany him out and dress up and try out the killer heels and the new Bobbi Brown makeup (and the special boudoir lingerie!) and fraternise with the beautiful people. It was like going to the Oscars!
Sadly the merchant wankers have stuffed it for the rest of us and there’s no invite for the ‘wives and partners’ this year! Not a worry, you might think, there’s always the friends’ Christmas parties and of course Christmas Day itself!
Except that is, we don’t have friends who party. No we’re a bunch of workaholic middle-aged somethings who never smile, who never show their teeth unless it’s in a frigid grimace as we stumble from house to car on our way to the coalface where we’ll dig for coal with our fingertips, until they bleed of course.
Christmas Day is a bit of a washout, as the kids are heading back to NZ, and the family live ‘up North’ and try as I might I can’t get enthusiastic about going and sleeping on the airbed on my mother-in-law’s lounge floor on Christmas Day! It just wouldn’t be very ‘ho, ho, ho’! So we will be staying here in glorious North Hampshire with the sphinx like cat (Stella Artois) and the Bear (Bailey the Lab. I name all my animals after alcohol!). No need of a Christmas frock.
Down Under we didn’t wear party clothes on Christmas Day, instead we often had a special Christmas T-shirt! Of course that was because the day itself could be very warm. One year in Brisbane, Queensland, I cooked the turkey in my swimsuit and popped in the pool in-between bastings.
I don’t think I’ll be wearing a bikini this year somehow, nor sadly will I be donning a glamorous gown. Instead I guess – as it is our first adult Christmas together – I could go for the naughty Santa knickers and a cheeky smile, (like this one from Ann Summers!)

 Read more... (461 words, 2 images, estimated 1:51 mins reading time)

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What are they teaching them?

20 November 2009

My Englishman and I went along to the parent/teacher evening at the local college last night, and came home incredulous. What are they teaching our kids in school these days?? Some of the things we learnt last night include;


1/Marks don’t matter – We were surprised to learn that marks aren’t all that important for GCSE’s any longer. True story! What matters is that you tried hard enough. I wonder whether that attitude would wash in my job – ‘Sorry folks the £300k marketing budget didn’t produce any sales at all. But I tried really hard!


2/A ‘D’ is no longer a fail – Apparently it’s an average mark, so therefore ok. Back when I was in school it meant you were stuffed. Our Son is a super bright kid, so we were shocked when the history teacher told us that he had received a D on a spot test. ‘Oh not to worry, that was really an average mark’ she soothed ‘it was a surprise test so no one did very well’. WTF!!!! I only got a D once and that was for wagging PE. My Dad the Kiwi was devastated his girl didn’t excell in physical education and I got an unpolitically correct bollicking for my score.  Read more... (531 words, 1 image, estimated 2:07 mins reading time)

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Is your teen sleeping through yet?

17 November 2009

What is it with teenagers and sleeping? Neither of the two teens in our house sleeps ‘right’. One never goes to bed the other wakes the lark!

They look so lovely, when they’re sleeping

Years ago, as a new mum I was obsessed with getting my bouncing baby boy into a routine. I followed a strict schedule of four hourly naps followed by sleeps and was duly rewarded at six weeks with a baby that slept through the night – from 11-6.00am. I was fastidious about routine because I was desperate to get the baby to sleep through the night so that I could catch up on consulting work while he slept.I tried the same approach with babies two and three and it seemed to work brilliantly, until now.

Time changes everything  Read more... (881 words, 1 image, estimated 3:31 mins reading time)

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Facebook and the Teen Wrath

13 November 2009

“Sarah has had a lovely day. Paul thinks he had a little too much last night. Lucy is luxxing it up at a hotel! Amelia has found a little kitten on Farmville”
My Live feed on my Facebook page delivers daily bulletins of  the ‘what I had for breakfast’ insight into my friends’ and families’ lives. It’s a pleasant hum of information that fills in the gaps between phone calls and emails and provides a lifeline between me and my other world Down Under. Yesterday, it delivered something a little more than toast and eggs’ news. The message punched into my page and power-puked bile all over the pleasantries.  Read more... (1134 words, 2 images, estimated 4:32 mins reading time)

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There’s Maggots in my fridge!

10 November 2009

Seriously, there is. It’s not because I’m a not-so domestic goddess, it’s because my Englishman has caught the bug. Or rather, he wishes to drown the bug to catch the big one. The kids have caught it too, and in all weather they’ve been traipsing off to the canal or lake to hunt. To mercilessly feed the fish on maggots, worms, casters, and a variety of weird and wonderful bait. To fish, perchance to catch something.

And when they do, to throw it back!!  Read more... (481 words, 2 images, estimated 1:55 mins reading time)

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Do you believe in fairies?

10 November 2009

I can hear someone yelling in frustration ‘who do you think is going to do it? The Fairies?’ The someone sounds like my mother, but uh oh, it’s actually me. I’m instructing the Dark Princess in the ways of household maintenance! She’s not exactly biddable.

She breezed into the warm house after musical practice, threw her shoes off in the hall, hurled her school bag into the corner, inspected the fridge for eats and then slumped into the nearest couch. My Englishman was folding washing, I was preparing dinner and divvying up tasks.

She ignores me.

 Read more... (880 words, 1 image, estimated 3:31 mins reading time)

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Fly little babies, Fly!

6 November 2009

We’re counting down. Not until Christmas, no it’s worse than that. In six weeks my three little fledglings aged 15, 13, and 10 years will be flying 19000 miles alone back to their father in New Zealand.

Alone.

Two 12 hour plane flights, and then they’ll be a world away for four weeks.  Read more... (475 words, 1 image, estimated 1:54 mins reading time)

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Tips for Step Stepparenting #101

5 November 2009

My Englishman, ever the canny Yorkshire lad has done a bit of a BOGOF deal. He bought one wife and got one instant half-grown family, with son 15, Dark Princess 13, and Littlest Daughter 10. How clever of him! No nappies, no preggy worries, no awful sleepless nights. And as he keeps telling me, somewhat wistfully, they’ll be gone in a few years.
There are ample books out there full of dark advice about step-parenting (don’t do it usually!), but nothing about how to guide your other half in how to become an instant parent. Given that you’re offering advice from the precarious perch of imperfect example, it’s not always easy. You need to make it up as you go along.  Read more... (765 words, estimated 3:04 mins reading time)

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An Open Letter to Ms Recruiter at Weflogpeople4u.com

4 November 2009

Dear Madam,

I am writing in response to your automated email re the job opening at Big Company Inc. I address this letter to you personally, although I assume that it was your CV reading bot that’s attending to the pesky details of the recruiting business –  like reading CVs and culling unlikely candidates like me. Funny thing is, I remember the good old days when recruiting was the ultimate people-business. I even had a recruiter send me on a blind date once such was the personal care and attention!

 Read more... (668 words, 1 image, estimated 2:40 mins reading time)

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