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by Vicki Jeffels on May 22, 2013

I feel as nervous as a bride on her wedding night. To rename 019

Which is funny, because four years ago today that’s just what I was. And now here we are. So many miles away from that little church in North Yorkshire. So many miles, not only in literal distance but in steps, emotional steps.

Some steps we’ve made together, in sync, unified. And others have been lonely footprints on the sand.

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Anchor Me

by Vicki Jeffels on May 20, 2013

Life screams past so fast I’ve started really enjoying those purely routine moments where I can just breathe in and think. I’ve started to look forward to Miss Fliss’ paper run each week.

Bucklands_beach

A blazing ferry slides in through the stormy skies and seas.

Sure, it’s slave labour and a pain that I have to interrupt week day evenings and weekend afternoons to sit in the car and play taxi, but  being on hand to dish out refills of advertising papers requires me to sit on the side of the road looking out over the beach. It’s not bad. Some  nights there are magnificent sunsets and I get to witness the ferries slide in through the crimson tide. Some afternoons are sunny and warm and I get to people watch.

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I’ve always called a spade a spade, and a p*nis a p*nis.

funny_spade

A spade is a spade not a metal digging device. Photo via Flickr CC : Simon Cocks.

You could blame this directness on the time I spent nurse aiding in an old folk’s home during my formative years, or that I am pretty frank, or even that I love words. I think there’s nothing better than finding the right word to describe something. And just as metal digging implement is not the word we use to describe a spade, you shouldn’t call a p*nis a Mr Johnston, your v*gina a fou fou, or your period a visit from Aunty Flo.

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I arrived into this world premature and I’ve not been good at waiting – for anything – ever since.

Isn't it amazing that a sunset can also be seen as a sunrise? It all depends on where you stand

Isn’t it amazing that a sunset can also be seen as a sunrise? It all depends on where you stand

So when people tell me to wait, it’ll come, I never quite know how. I’m not practised at it, and therefore I’m not good at it. I want it all to happen yesterday. I’m a woman in a hurry. Quick. Now. Let’s do it.

What are you waiting for?

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After a long hot summer, and no Autumn Auckland has plunged into an Antarctic deluge.

winter

Snow in the trees in Baughurst, that’s really cold.

Friends are racing around seeking out heat pumps and Merino sweaters, and I’ve resorted to putting slippers on. ‘Straight to winter’ they moan. ‘What happened to Autumn? It’s a bit tough wearing shorts one day and freezing the next.

It’s 15 degrees Celsius in Auckland at 3:30pm.

On my Twitter stream and Facebook Timeline from friends based in the UK there’s chirpy chatter about ‘burnt cheeks’ and ‘perfect May bank holiday weather’.

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Mum Moments

by Vicki Jeffels 2 May 2013

The camera moves in and brings a peachy little baby bum into focus. There’s soft lighting, wide smiles and yes, even a little cooing.

No more syrupy cuteness!  Bring on the funny, poignant, REAL #mummoments This is my daughter feeding the dog on our dinner set, aged 3 yrs

No more syrupy cuteness! Bring on the funny, poignant, REAL #mummomentsThis is the public portrayal of Motherhood. It’s a fairytale that has no basis in truth. The real story would go something like this:

The camera moves in until a peachy little baby bum is in focus. Quick cut to Mum’s face – sheer terror splattered across it as she attempts to bath the human equivalent of a jellyfish-octopus cross-breed. Dad is hovering in the background jigging nervously. Baby is squealing like a stuck pig. And then in a stunning coup de grace Baby Boy releases a potent stream of wee….right into Mum’s open mouth.

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Only Human

by Vicki Jeffels 29 April 2013

“I’m only human,”she said as she pulled her arms around me.

Free Hugs campaign - www.freehugscampaign.org Photo via Flickr CC - surfstyle.

Free Hugs campaign – www.freehugscampaign.org Photo via Flickr CC – surfstyle.

Cocooned within the care of a stranger, I watched guilty tears mix with sweat and dot her tanned arm. How dare I? So much hurt in the world, so much pain…mine is just a drop in the ocean.

“I know, sometimes the most beautiful days are too much. I feel like that. I’ve had the worst four years of my life.”

I didn’t ask why.

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Should we celebrate ANZAC Day?

by Vicki Jeffels 26 April 2013

Yes, I know I missed posting Travel Thursday this week.

ANZAC

ANZAC Cove, Gallipoli. via Flickr CC – calflier001

But Thursday was ANZAC Day in NZ (and Australia) and I didn’t think it was appropriate to put up a commercial post. ANZAC Day is a special day, and deserves some respect and reflection, in my opinion. You can imagine how horrified I was to see a tweet come across wishing everyone a ‘happy ANZAC shopping day’!

Gulp!

That’s like saying Happy Funeral Day!

‘Why do we celebrate all those people dying?,” Miss Fliss asked.

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Sweet things for Succulent Mums on Mothers’ Day

by Vicki Jeffels 20 April 2013
Advertising feature

 

Mothers’ Day is upon us!

Succulent.co.nz

Your online florist – succulent.co.nz

Don’t PANIC if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere and your Mum is in the Northern Hemisphere. I don’t mean you. If you are in the Northern Hemisphere and your Mum is Down Under…

PANIC!!!

You need to get organised NOW.

Do not pass ‘Go’. Don’t delay the decision – Cupcakes or Flowers for Mum?

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Four wheels of freedom

by Vicki Jeffels 20 April 2013

Over the past 6 months I’ve driven over 12 different vehicles in the hunt to buy my own four wheels of freedom. It’s been something of a trip from the sublime to the ridiculous.

The sublime.

The sublime.

And one I must say, quickly, I am completely indebted to my brilliant friends who have lent me their vehicles, for! It’s also been a great reminder of how much I’ve changed over the past five years.

First up there was the series of rental vehicles, which we rented from the great people at Gateway 2 New Zealand (no this isn’t a sponsored post I should hasten to add. They’re just great people!)

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