A Kiwi Expat Mum blogging, travelling, and eating Vegemite all the way home

There’s a special gate in hell

by vix on May 15, 2012

I’ve learnt a few things during my time in England.

Some people (yes, thank you dear!) would say I’ve become a little more refined. Not quite so ‘Kiwi country cousin’. I’ve learnt to shine a little less, and not bound up to strangers to say ‘hello’, like a Labrador on heat. I’ve learnt to curl the lip, and walk on by. Read more... (541 words, 1 image, estimated 2:10 mins reading time)

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London town and a diamond geezer

by vix on May 15, 2012

It’s no secret – I love London. It’s messy, smelly, crowded, and whenever I get home I have to literally wash ‘London tube detritus’ out from under my finger nails.

Looking down the Thames towards Waterloo Bridge and St Pauls

But like a bad, bad man, London waggles his naughty finger at me, and I’m his. Read more... (1299 words, 6 images, estimated 5:12 mins reading time)

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How young is too young to be a girlfriend?

by vix on May 11, 2012

Miss Fliss (12) came screaming through the front door, a flesh and bones tornado.

When is it no longer cute?

Her face was flushed and her wobbly fringe (she cut it herself. Nuf said) stuck defiantly to her hot brow. In her eyes was a glint of panic.

My initial ‘how was school’ rapidly turned into; “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Oh Dark Princess will tell you. It’s not bad.”

So why did a tear escape and start its winding journey down her cheeks?

Worried now.

“What’s wrong? I want you to tell me? Are you OK?” Read more... (666 words, 1 image, estimated 2:40 mins reading time)

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Walking like an Egyptian

by vix on May 10, 2012

Say ‘Egypt’ and most people think -Pyramids, the Nile, maybe even Tutankhamen.

Here fishy fishy fishy

Not me.

I’m not ‘most people’. Say ‘Egypt’ to me and immediately I’m inspired by images of big hair, dark eyes in smudged kohl and a certain catchy tune that takes me right back to the 1980s, when I was a Kiwi school girl. Read more... (676 words, 2 images, estimated 2:42 mins reading time)

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The problem with being a career Mum

by vix 9 May 2012

Like many of my generation I threw myself into mothering, as if it was one of my projects.

Everything hasn't gone according to plan, but that really is the best outcome. Happy 18th birthday Oli!

I didn’t have a Microsoft Outlook folder for it, nor did I have a Project plan… well not written down at least. In my head it was pretty much clear. I knew what I wanted to achieve in raising my children. I knew in general terms what what kind of Mum I could be. My vision was a real me not the John Lewis Mum. Read more... (770 words, 1 image, estimated 3:05 mins reading time)

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Five go nowhere at all

by vix 8 May 2012

With apologies to Enid Blyton and her rip-roaring series – Famous Five.

Five go nowhere at all because they cannot afford to.

“Gosh,” said Mother, “these bank hols seem to be flying by. Before you know it all you children will be back at school. Won’t that be jolly good!”

“Ra-ther, Mother,” said Miss Fliss.

“You only say that because you’re an awful swotter,” Dark Princess complained. “These hols have been jolly boring. A real disappointment. You cannot even say that we have had an ounce of adventure.”

Mother shook her head sadly. Read more... (742 words, 1 image, estimated 2:58 mins reading time)

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New English Dictionary

by vix 2 May 2012

Since I’ve been living in England I’ve had to learn an entirely new dialect, and in some cases a new language.

A translation guide for expats

In the hope of helping newcomers to Blighty I’ve decided to publish a quick guide to the new English language.

New English Dictionary

1. Drought (dr-owt) – A period of unseasonably cool temperatures, and considerable outpourings of the ‘wrong kind of rain’. Governmental reaction employs a left field solution – announcing hose pipe bans and flood warnings within ten days of each announcement. Read more... (487 words, 1 image, estimated 1:57 mins reading time)

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Dressing to kill, by heart attack

by vix 1 May 2012

I was quietly flicking through an Asos catalogue admiring the clothes, I could never afford and probably never fit into, and I stopped to point out a picture of a body con top decorated with sequins and rivets.

Would Kylie wear it?

“That’s cool, don’t you reckon?” I asked my Englishman.

“That’s a bit young for your age, isn’t it?”

Yup. He actually said those words.

And amazingly he is still alive. He walks with a limp now after I inflicted behaviour modification treatment but he is still alive, and testament to my ability to remain calm and not carry a grudge. Read more... (789 words, 3 images, estimated 3:09 mins reading time)

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How envy can make your dreams come true

by vix 30 April 2012

When I was about eight years old, my wealthy, next door neighbour invited me over to play with her Barbie.

I wasn't much of a Barbie girl, and I didn't want a Barbie world, after all.

I remember her Barbie didn’t have mangled hair and home made clothes. It had fabulous clothes, a boyfriend called Ken (who was frankly a bit of a wet week) her very own car, and she was a Pool Party Barbie.

I was insanely jealous. Read more... (982 words, 1 image, estimated 3:56 mins reading time)

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Chocolate and wine – what could be finer?

by vix 27 April 2012

Those folk living in the Northern Hemisphere may not know this, but Aussies and Kiwis have a bit of a sibling rivalry going on.

The very impressive Australia House in Covent Garden

We beat them at rugby. (Yay). They trample us in the rugby league. (Bugger). It’s a constant battle between the countries, and so it was with curiousity that I accepted A+ Australian Wines (Wine of Australia) invitation to pop along to Australia House in London, to taste some of their wine matched with Rococo chocolates.

Of course, it helped that wine and chocolate are 2/3 of the items on my most loved list. Read more... (997 words, 3 images, estimated 3:59 mins reading time)

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